ABKRulz

Pet Lovers

2009-04-19T12:39:00.001-04:00

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a
claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched
out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you
there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

(1) eat less,

(2) don't ask for money all the time,

(3) are easier to train,

(4) normally come when called,

(5) never ask to drive the car,

(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,

(8) don't want to wear your clothes,

(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,

(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Men vs ....

2009-04-07T23:32:00.000-04:00

I have decided that I can sum up most of my adult relationships by comparing each male to a certain type of water based catastrophe … and believe it or not, they fit quite nicely … read on and you shall see for yourself if you know me …

Jason is the calm place you usually go to but every once in a while, there’s an undercurrent, a churning, a blow spout, a ripple, a rocky sea – all usually caused by outside things that he lets build until he explodes. The place that even with the unknowns sometimes, you still feel the safest and know that even with the minor unexpectantcies, you’re gonna be relaxed soon and find a peaceful balance ….

Russ can best be described as a swirling abyss. (aka undercurrent) (aka sinkhole)At first you don’t see the danger. It might actually be breathtaking – exciting, deep – but OMG if you get close enough to get sucked in, you’d better be strong enough to pull yourself out and clear from being sucked back in or you’ll be stuck in that ever churning disaster for all eternity (or until one of you dies from the exhaustion of it all) either way, it has basically the same ending.

With this type of danger – you may even get continually sucked in because of promises, of blame being shifted thinking you too are at fault or whatever and each time, you sink lower into the swirls making each climb to the top to safety – or sanity, harder and harder.

The warning signs are there from the beginning but we choose to ignore them for whatever sick reasons our minds, our sick hearts, our libidos or our friends make for us but usually when 2 of 3 out of the about tell you to run when you find yourself in the about situation – RUN like hell and don’t look back. You’ll thank everyone later, trust me.

Shane was well, he was the breakers at the edge of the beaches that warn you to stay away from them. You know you HAVE to disobey the signs when you see them because it’s just how humans work. When you get down into the water outside the breaks, you see this dainty lil turtle (Katie) and you have to stay there and figure out how to get it outta the tidal pool it’s stuck in because obviously the break isn’t doing its job protecting it. The whole time you’re there cussing knowing you shouldn’t be but thinking if the dang break woulda done what it woulda supposed to have done, you wouldn’t be in that position but, you care about the little thing and you’re hellbent and determined to what you have to do to save the poor little thing.

Determined to fix it, you withstand the waves slamming you, looking out for cops since you are breaking laws being in the position you’re in but dang Breaker can’t do what he’s supposed to … and of course, you’re also in danger of sharks but hey, there’s the little one and you’re still hellbent and determined no one will hurt a little one while you’re around and finally, lil one’s mom shows up and can take care of her so you’re finally relieved of the duty shirking Breaker ….. so what if he’s off in search of the next lil turtles to neglect, at least it won’t be on your watch or conscious so, he has Karma to deal with, we all know how Ms. Karma works – maybe we’ll get to be the flies on the wall when it happens, lol.

There were other men in my life – but none that fit in on here.

Tid – he’s one of those rocks that you see, pick up - know it’s solid but for some reason, it makes you laugh in a good way. You still keep it and even if you don’t have it with you that often, you know it’s there when you need it.

My Dad. Well. That’s the one person I could never, ever manage to sum up if I tried. Today, April 7th is the anniversary of the day he died. I was there when it happened. Got to say all the things I hadn’t and held back things I wouldn’t tell him because I would not burden him with them. It’s been a long time and it has not gotten easier. I’m not sure if a girl ever really stops missing her daddy. Hell, I’m 39 – hardly a “girl” anymore but, to me, I’m still his little girl in that silly red suit, silly black patent leather shoes – and I miss him ….

Old Posts from MySpace

2009-03-30T21:58:00.001-04:00

MySpace Blogs thru 2/0/09

Sunday, February 08, 2009
CJ's Sweet (or not so) 16th Birthday
hhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9am9COGN04 (“Sweet 16” Billy Idol)

Happy Birthday CJ - I can't believe you're already 16 Baby and the mushy sweet 16 songs just wouldn't cut it for you ... but this one kinda comes close. I love you snicklefritz ... you'll always be momma's lil tow head.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Health Update
Got my Upper GI Results. No tears or masses - which is a huge relief. The meds I am on and the migraines/unstable BP is causing digestive issues so they increased the meds I am on and added a new med to help aide in processing food quicker so I don't have the same issue as this time.

My Neuro tests are all ok. New meds to help control the migraines that no one seems to know what causes.

BP & Migraines still out of control ~ I have the best specialists in the area that are treating the symptoms I see them for that the Migraines cause but no one seems to know what causes them ~

So, I'm still, over 2 years later, stuck in a painfully vicious circle of health problems caused by constant migraines that no one seems to know the underlying trigger for.....

Obviously, I have been diagnosed with Stress Disorder (wonder why, lol) and Anxiety ~ and I'm getting really tired of being Sick and Tired!!!!!!!

Thanks to all that asked about me.....

Tuesday, February 03, 2009
"Dear NRA Telemarketers"
Current mood: aggravated
Dear NRA Telemarketers:

Can you please stop calling my house? While I understand, agree and sympathize with what your Organization represents, I strongly feel that 10 telephone calls to my house AFTER I have thanked you and told you that my husband and I were not interested is a bit EXCESSIVE.

It's not that we don't like guns or have "never used them". We both have. I got re-educated in proper hand-gun safety by my awesome friend Tid while my husband was properly trained by the USMC. We chose not have them in our home because we have kids and their friends in at all times, especially when we're not there and it's a bit more comforting to us that we've removed that possible dangerous object from their reach for the moment.

Sure, there are times that firing off a few rounds at the range would relieve some stress but it's not worth the possible risk to the aforementioned children or hell, even a stranger coming in and using it on one of the kids when we're not there to protect them so....

Again, I do thank you for your time and consideration in wanting us to know about the new laws but for pete's sake - don't ya think enough's enough???

*** oh, and I didn't mention because it's common sense that if you are able to carry/use a gun, thank a Soldier for helping you keep that right.

Thursday, January 29, 2009
For The Mom's of Daughters
Current mood: blessed

Ok, so no one really asked me to write and give my opinion on this subject but if you know me, you know that doesn't ever really stop me if I want to speak my mind - besides, we've already established I don't bite my tongue because it hurts so let's just get on with it, shall we?

As a mom of boys, I've already had to deal with both a good amount of girls and their parents - both good and bad. I've also dealt with the other side of things - being the crazy teen dealing with the sometimes even Crazier parents, which brings this blog to life.

Most of you already know that the more you try to get a child, especially a Hormone Ridden Teenager NOT to do something, the MORE they are going to want to do it and the faster and more they are going to find ways to do it. But yet, some of you out there insist on doing it anyway. I'm not talking about things that actually harm your child (don't get your granny panties or tightie whities in a bunch, geesh).

I'm talking about the Hormone Part of their lives. I know from experience the boys my parents hated, I absolutely adored. Could Not Live without. Had to be with them. Found ways to be with them. Yep, they were bad for me. The ones they liked and allowed me around - yep, hated them and ditched them quick. Sometimes, if my parents really, really hated them and let me know it a lot, I made sure I acted out a lot and was like "I want to marry them though" or something equally stupid. Hell, some out there have actually married that one person their parents HATED that badly because they were that bad just because their parents were that anal about it.... just because they could. Parents were right but parents did not allow kids to see it themselves, kids made their own (sobeit wrong) decision, and well ... you know the rest.

My point is - kids are kids. We all were - you cannot keep your child from making the mistakes you made. They're going to do things. They're going to like people you don't like - it's part of life and if you get your head outta your ass, stop listening to the Jones' that are Perfect or the book you think is telling you how you're supposed to raise your child and actually do it, you'd figure that out.

Let them make some mistakes - let them make some decisions - choose your battles- if they like someone that you don't (and they're not an axe murderer or show up with a needle hanging out of their arm) let them see them under ADULT supervision a bit to get them over the phase - they'll be grown up before you know it and have to face the realities and responsibilities that most all of us do every day - and if they're like most of us, they'll turn out pretty darn good ....

Oh yeah, and teach them that except for the "change a bit in the responsible ways" but not to make others happy or respect/accept you ways" is the best way to go, lol....

BB folks ....

Saturday, December 13, 2008
Yule 2008
Current mood: calm
Celtic Yuletide Blessing - from Patti with appreciation
The Celtic people knew the importance of the solstice. Although the Yule season marks the middle of winter, colder times were still to come. It was important to put aside staple foods for the coming months, because it would be many months before anything fresh grew again. Consider, as you think on this devotional, what your family has put aside -- both material goods and things on the spiritual plane.
*******************************************
The food is put away for the winter, the crops are set aside to feed us,
the cattle are come down from their fields, and the sheep are in from the pasture
The land is cold, the sea is stormy, the sky is gray. The nights are dark, but we have our family
kin and clan around the hearth, staying warm in the midst of darkness
our spirit and love a flame a beacon burning brightly in the night.
*****************************
Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they do when they stick together.
- Verna M. Kelly
**********************************************
Holidays and Observances

Dec. 11 Observance of Arianrhod, Celtic Moon Goddess - Celebrate with Moon
Magick!
Dec. 12 Full Moon
Dec. 14 Birth of Nostradamus
Dec. 18 Festival of Epona - Celebrate with decorations of horses! Chris'
Birthday (he is busy packing your orders, even on his birth-day!)
Dec. 19 Last Quarter, Waning Moon
Dec. 20 Mother Night, Norse Festival when your dreams may be prophetic.
Celebrate with decorations of a tree, or decorate with pine cones and pine
branches. 12 Days of Yule Begins: A Festival of 12 Nights.
Dec. 21 Yule Sabbat, Winter Solstice
Dec. 22 First Day of Winter
Dec. 23 Happy Birthday FreeOak!
Dec. 24 Celtic Tree Month of Beth is Dec 24 - Jan 20 Birch Tree: Time for
Purifying and Birth
Dec. 26 Boxing Day
Dec. 27 New Moon, Birth of Freya, Goddess of Love, Cats, Seeresses and
Fertility.
Dec. 29 Day of Nymphs
Dec. 31: End of 12 Days of Yule. Plan for future, make a wish and announce a
resolution! Bake Gingerbread... grab a bell or drum and ring/drum (or use
pots and pans!)in the New Year! Sweep out the old! Open doors and windows -
Out with the old, in with the new!
We Welcome 2009!
Jan. 1 Hag's Day, Fortuna Offerings for a blessed new year. Charming of the
Plow; Return the Corn Mother
Jan. 2 Birth of Inanna, Sumerian Goddess; Princess of Earth and Queen of
Heaven. Celebrations of Isis
Jan. 3 Festival of Lenaia honoring Dionysus
Jan. 4 First Quarter, Waxing Moon
Jan. 5 Night of Befana
Jan. 6 Triple Goddess Day, Wassil Eve, Epiphany of Persephone
Jan. 7 Honoring of Sekhmet and Festival of Isis
Jan. 8 Old Druidic New Year and Midwives Day
Jan. 9 Celebration of Janus
Jan. 10 Full Moon; Celebrations to honor Thor
Jan. 13 Ancient Druid's Feast of Brewing, Midvintersblot is celebrated for
Peace, Good Winter and Future Good Harvests
Jan. 17 Last Quarter, Waning Moon. Celebrate Festival of Goddess Felicitas -
Good Luck Day; associated with symbols of health and wealth.
Jan. 18 Day of Danu, Ancient Greece's Theogamia of Hera, Woman's Festival
Jan. 21 Celtic Tree Luis Begins: Celebrations of the Rowan Tree from Jan. 21
- Feb. 17. Agnes Day: Fire Divination
Jan. 22 Festival of Muses, Goddesses of Inspiration, Art and Science: Read,
Dance and Sing!
Jan. 23 Celebrations of Hathor: Egyptian Mother Goddess, Goddess of Love,
Music, Drinking, Dance and Goddess of Underworld
Jan. 25 Minnie Robinson's first birthday
Jan. 26 Robbie and Brigid's Wedding Anniversary 7, New Moon, Honoring of
Cernunnos
Jan. 27 Day of Ishtar
Jan. 29 Festival of Peace
Jan. 30 Festival of Sementivae Faria: Honor to Ceres, Goddess of Agriculture
Jan. 31 Sacred to Valkyries & Norns
... and we will be back to you for Blessings of the Seeds, Cleansing Time,
Growth and Renewal... for Imbolc/Candlemas.
*********************************************
"The twelve months...
Snowy, Flowy, Blowy,
Showery, Flowery, Bowery,
Hoppy, Croppy, Droppy,
Breeze, Sneezy, Freezy." - George Ellis
***********************************************
One kind word can warm three winter months. - Japanese Proverb
************************************************
For more of this, please see 13Moons

Saturday, December 13, 2008
Christmas Funnies (thanx Ed)
Current mood: bouncy
Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler

December 8, 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry - we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25
Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed In!!! The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
*********************************************************************************
Christmas with Louise
As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.
If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do? You're kidding me! Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.
Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination.
On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.
My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.
We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.
My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked.
My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll."
"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped.
I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut.
"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.
"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.
But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"
Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny, hang on!"
My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"
I told him she was Jay's friend.
A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.
The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.
Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.
It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.
Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Gossamer Cornwitch
Your fairy is called Gossamer Cornwitch
She is a creator of bounty and harvest.
She lives in spiderwebbed wonderlands and insect grottos.
She is only seen in the enchanted moment between sleep and waking.
She wears tiny black spiders on her dresses.
She has butterfly wings the colour of yellow corn.
Get'>http://www.emmadavies.net/fairy/default.aspx'>Get your free fairy name here!

Friday, December 05, 2008
My November 2008

Wow ~ where was I when I last left off of this blog thingy? Prolly bitching about something if I know me (and sometimes, I think I actually do know me)
Wednesday before Turkey Day, I had to see a Cardiologist who ordered this "nuclear stress test" within 2 weeks (I'll do it after first of year, ssshhhh)
Long Weekend of Turkey Day ~ stay around house almost ALL weekend with just Dam Dog and Jas since boys were with other parents
Sunday after Turkey Day ~ kidneys hurt but too stubborn to admit what I already know is wrong
Monday after Turkey Day ~ find out my mom is taken by ambulance to ER. ER visit, ICU incidents too many too mention causing me over 4 hours on telephone. find out Devon has pierced his own lip here.
Tuesday after Turkey Day ~ Finally admit to myself that I have another dreaded kidney infection and call my doctor ~ go see him tomorrow. Still fighting with hospital to make sure mom is getting care she needs. Find out Devon’s dad goes and buys him lip ring ignoring me about the facial piercing.
Wednesday after Turkey Day ~ Mom gets moved out of ICU. My doc confirms kidney infection and gives me meds and sends out for a bunch of other tests. Tell my mom I'll be home to see her the weekend before Xmas and get to hear her be very happy.
Thursday after Turkey Day ~ Deal with meds kicking in and their side effects (but glad meds, self-medication and rest is helping) talk to stronger mom and laugh hysterically at one of my App Friends wig out about constructive criticism when she was asking for picture comments …
And how has your weeks been???

Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Mom Rose vs. Raiden
Check out this video: Mom & Raiden

Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Grandma watching the surfers on Tybee
Check out this video: Grandma watching the surfers on Tybee

Thursday, November 20, 2008
sumabeach. I just flushed my brand new gold bracelet down the toilet - and no, I didn’t mean to
Current mood: pissed off
So, Saturday, I FINALLY get the gold rope necklace & bracelet I've been wanting but wouldn't buy because it was too expensive - BUT I got them at a Jewelry Store that was going out of business for chump change (thankfully)
I get home with my new treasures and happily and contently wear them for a few days ...
UNTIL TONIGHT ...
I go to use the bathroom - and notice that there's this snakish/wormy looking thing in the toilet - I'm a chic, I think, "Good, there goes another pest ... "
Then, look down at my wrist and realize what I was just GLAD to flush was my brand new bracelet.... just as it's going down the drain ...
SUMABITCH.
I verbalize my disgust to Jas who replies "good thing you got 2”..
Dammit. My dog sheds and makes all my clothes/my house hairy, my sons (hubby) make my house and mess and now ME, I Flush my jewelry down the toilet ..
WTF??

Thursday, November 06, 2008
Acai Berry Diet Scam
In case any of you were wondering - DO NOT FALL FOR THE ACAI BERRY CLEANSING HYPE you see on the internet, Oprah or Rachel Ray.
Initially, you will pay a mere $3.90 for shipping/handling to try their wonderful product for 14 days with guaranteed results....
BUT don't tell you is that they with hold shipment for a while so that you get it on the 15th day
Not necessarily bad except the envelope has this teeny tiny white slip of paper that says
"Some may not get the full 14 day trial. Please be advised that on the 14th day, your credit card will be charged $89.90 and will continue every 30 days until you call to cancel"
So, if you're like me, you've been scammed. You have this so-called miracle weight loss product so why not use it, RIGHT?
2 doses into this miracle "cleansing, weight loss product" and I used 2 rolls of TP. (didn't wanna be too graphic).... after which, my scarily intelligent 14 yr old asks me "Mom, if you wanted to poo that much, why not just use the $2 box of chocolate ex-lax, I bet the taste way better."
I would love to tell you April Fools, I'm kidding or something but alas - my dumb ass fell for this hook, line and as it turned out, STINKER ...
Hopefully, none of you will ...
Blessed be and sh....t

Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Dum Dum De Dum Dum (you get the picture)
Oh Gawd.
Here I sit, watching something very............
Very entertaining on the TV....
... I'm laughing my ass off at these little fools and their antics ...

Yep - Super Bad ...
Oh, yeah, I guess you were thinking I was sitting on the edge of my bed (cuz that's where I usually am when I'm online at this time of night with my laptop) watching the "presidential" election results....
Nope.
Honestly, although I took shit about it for NOT voting today, I exercised my right to NOT Vote.
Not because I'm not registered to vote, because I am ...
In fact, I make sure my voter registration is updated before I get my tags renewed and my licensed reissued if I move because it's that important to me.
Not because I've never "voted" before, because I have ...
Though most wouldn't believe it, I follow the candidates more than most people I know - I vote when I think my vote will actually make a difference. When there is a candidate in the race that I can feel comfortable to cast "my vote” for ... one that I can, in good coconscious, tell others I voted for and why - and not be ashamed or beat around a bush as I'm telling my stands that I also feel the candidate I chose also stands for.
Not because I don't think that I am blessed to have the opportunity to be able to do so, because I am....

I know I am blessed as an American to have soldiers of our great country give their time and sometimes lives to make sure I have the right to vote if I so choose ... as well as the right to not do so.
Today, instead of voting while everyone else around me was, I was mustering up all the good vibes I could in hopes that whomever is appointed our new "Commander in Chief" for the next 4 years does not do more damage than any that have come before them.... and hoping that they might actually do what they campaigned to do.
I realize that although we have a President, that one person alone will never have the ultimate deciding factor in what happens in our wonderful country.... that is why we have Congress, The House and all other sorts of committees, agencies and laws to protect us from the potential stupidity and injustice in whatever form that one political party, one cabinet, one President could possibly dish out.
Have you ever stopped to think that we spend more energy it seems to pick the next "American Idol," the next "Miss America" or hell, even the colors we paint our house than we do to pick a Presidential leader of our country? We spend our hard earned dollars to call in to AI to make sure our voice matters ...
There are some out there that are "party biased" and would vote for whatever Jackass or Elephant was running, regardless if they agreed or disagreed with them based on the "party?"
Still others out there are gonna vote based on race, sexuality or monetary/financial gain they may potentially get out of it.
Seems we're still, as a Nation ... biased and racist in one way or another.
I thought I read, somewhere in my history books that we're not supposed to be that way. Wasn't there a war fought to prevent that??
Oh hell, who am I kidding - people are gonna pass judgments, think others are undeserving for this reason or that ... and politicians will always be corrupt in someone's eyes, no matter what they do.
I think - though I am just one tiny voice -
that our potential president should:
have had to held a position in the military during active duty war time so that they understand the sacrifices our military undertake in those same situations. That may help them better understand the military soldiers and families plight.
have had to spend time (lots and lots and lots) around single parents, low-income families, sick families - so that they can understand the need for child care and need to find ways to lower it so a parent can afford to put their child in safe places to earn their meager salary; health insurance that works and doesn't cost an arm/leg or month's salary so that all Americans get the health care they need; and the difficult times a family has when gas prices, food, rent, utilities rise and there's no help for them.
and yeah - lots of lie detectors, bullshit tests - whatever it takes so that we can know they are sincere ...
There was once a time when a person was only as good as their word ------ I guess that time has long since gone based on all our other politicians that promise so much but deliver so little ...................

Eh, I'm just bitching but I do have to thank Mattie and Bats today for putting things for us real Americans into perspective ...
After we vote, we have to remember that it is up to us as individuals to work as hard as we can to take care of our families, put rooves over our heads, food on our tables, clothes on our backs and medicine down our throats if we need it and to remember to thank those that help us when we need it because god knows, those people in office sworn to protect us and do what they can for us can't and won't do it for us and that they've never been where we are.

*******************
I'd apologize to any that are offended by what I just wrote but eh - this is me we're talking about ... and if you know me, you already know I think what I say, say what I think and if you don't like it ....
well, you know the drill ....
Blessed Be Ya'll

Changes .. surgery, a new cell phone, furniture and me??

2006-10-10T23:21:00.000-04:00

Ok, so they called me from the docs this week - they finally know what kind of surgery they recommend after tests and a review of past medicals .... not what I had expected (I honestly hoped I was imagining the shit/stress caused it) I suppose but I'll get used to it ... they want what most of us women fear ... but with raised white blood cell counts (but high hemo/iron thanks to my diet), pain and the icky bleeding, scarring, other shit I don't wanna name - they think that the almost full deal is needed ... I'm 36, WTF? I gotta call them later this week with the go ahead to notify my insurance and then schedule it ... hopefully my downtime will be minimum since I'm already working from home even with a full time assistant to try to keep up ….

I called my Momma (kept missing her but finally got her) and she seemed more distracted by the grocery shopping she had done than the news I had from the doc but hey, what’s new where’s she’s concerned … and people ask why I’m not living closer/missing her more???

After the mess with Virgin Mobile (that I was able to fix) I still got a new cell phone … so if you need the number, message me – ya’ll can understand why it’s not posted here I hope, lol …

Lately, I got longer hair and been sittin on my new couch … the longer hair is driving me nuts – prolly time to donate it to “Locks for Love” again but hubby and sons like it long so I guess we’ll see …

Changes are part of every life I know but dammit, sometimes, I just want my life to stop changing a bit to give me time to catch up – is that too much to ask???

Bless The Broken Road ….

2006-10-02T22:58:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I’m kinda sitting here in a sappy mood at the moment. Not sure why but I guess I can blame it on the upcoming surgery I have to have … not sure what they will have to do to me to make me “better” but any surgery has a tendency to make you worry and not knowing what kind they want you to have, well, that makes it even worse …

In the midst of my thinking of the “future” I guess I’ve thought about the past a little tonight … thought about the people in my past that I’ve thought I’ve loved only to learn later that I must not have since I got over them so quickly – hell, some of them, even now, I detest – what’s that say?? Ya’ll know the ones – hell, some of them you marry, have kids with or at least put in many years with only to later find out that they’re not even the people you thought they were or the people you loved anyway …

In the thinking, I’ve started realizing that the ones that lasted the longest were the worst for me in every way. They were the ones I “thought I could change if I loved them enough” … ha ha .. betcha a few of you out there can relate to this one ….

But anyway – in my thinking, I’ve come to realize that I truly do love the man I am married to at this moment in my life because he is unlike any I’ve ever known before. He’s been through similar situations like I have … he has 2 sons like me …. But he accepts me for me and by god, he loves me anyway – he must to put up with my shit … medical, bitchiness, internet, religion, drinking (though a lot less than before) and well, just me in general. Being with him has made me not want to drink as much, be on the internet as much and want to be more domesticated (yep, I said that D word) …

Yes, we’ve had a few fights that got out of hand but through it all, nothing changes the fact that we both love it the most when we are in each others arms … nothing makes either of us as happy as the other touching us … we have no secrets from each other … we both feel we can share everything – that speaks volumes …

So Jason, if you read this … know that I do bless the broken roads I’ve had to travel to find you and don’t regret any of them for a minute because traveling them made me appreciate and love you more and I know that you’ll be here by my side no matter what my future holds and I’ll be by yours …. I love you baby …

Wachovia SUCKS!!!

2006-08-22T20:10:00.000-04:00

Yes, I said it. Wachovia Bank Sucks!

How can I make this statement you might ask? Well, being an account holder since 1998, I can honestly say that since their merger with First Union, they SUCK. They take money from your account and then expect you to know where it went. They can show the deposit going in ... look at your withdrawls (both checks and bank card) but not show where the deductions went and leave it up to you to pay them $65 an hour to find errors that they made. You can use accounting programs (Quicken, Quickbooks, etc), accountants, do your own perfect monthly reconcilations BUT .. they will still lose your money and tell you it's your loss since their system doesn't show where it went.

Think I'm wrong here? NOPE .. they've done this to me 3 times ... and actually had me convinced that even though I can manage 2 accounts at a lawfirm without a single descrepency - that the error was on my end. they convinced me sooo well that I went and purchased the same accounting program I use at the office that has had ZERO errors for my personal use and you know what?? There is still mess ups .... MAJOR Ones - this time, they LOST $285 of my money. Last Year this time, they lost another $200+, the year before? same thing ... but it's my accounting/mathematics, etc ... their excuse last time?? Even though I deduct every penny (even their stupid fees) that come out of my account, since they hit the system at different times, it's my fault.

Explain this one to me. I deposit X amount of dollars. I deduct Y amount of dollars. According to my accounting program and my math, I'm left with +XYZ amounts but their figures shows -abc amount. How in the hell is this possible?? If I deposit $100 and deduct $50, I still have $50, right? Not according to WACHOVIA standards .... they have different mathematical equations that you and I do .. hell, theirs is even different from any accounting program on the market .... can anyone out there tell me how in the hell this is possible and better yet .. who in the hell to report this to so that they dont' STEAL anyone else's money again???

it's still rocknroll to me

2006-05-30T22:21:00.000-04:00

much to Jason's dismay, I have recently gotten back on a "sit in front of my winmedia player and listen to songs with a beer or 4" phase when life so allows .... and being the ripe old age of 36, there's been alot of music that I have acquired .... heavy metal, hair bands, pop shit (ugh, guilty pleasure, sorry), oldies, country, rockabilly .. you name it, I got it .... and I got ALOT of it ....

and I guess maybe, he'd be ok with me just bouncing from song to song - gosh only knowing what genre - like a sugar laden kid with ADD .... but I, being me, have to take it a few steps further ...

I sit and bug him playing musical jeopardy "name that tune." yeah yeah, so "name that tune" was a game-show of it's own (might still be, hellifiknow) but musical jeopardy means that he's subjected to everything his ears can (or can't) imagine. no rhyme, no reason - and the only category is "Music ABK wants to play to see if her hubby can guess what it is to entertain her" and if he don't wanna play? I irritate him like that same sugar laden ADD Kid ... you know, in the whiny voice that's slighty tainted by a few bud lights?? "honey, please, tell me what this song is? I betcha can't do it. Huuuuunnnnneeeyyyyyy. it's easy. you don't have to play that long" ....

So yeah, being my adorable hubby, he eventually gives in and plays along ... (Gee, wonder if that's why he calls me "Princess?") and at times, he surprises me with his accuracy. But there are times, when I thoroughly blow his mind with shit. hee hee ... ok, so maybe it's a bit sadistic of me to get a guilty pleasurable laugh knowing I can still shock my hubby, even if it is with music from before his mother was born, lol ... sometimes, you just gotta take what you can get ...

hey, what was this blog about again? oh yeah, music and torturing my hubby .... . I promise I was never that ADD Sugar Laden kid ... even though you are probably wondering if I took my meds today, lol ...

anywho - in my musical explorations of late, i have rediscovered my love for Kix. A not well known band from the area I grew up with. Yes, I was into them heavily - tight pants, long hair, local boys that liked to party ... screaming guitars ... (did it get hot in here?) where was I again?? oops! dang ADD ... luckily for me, they're now on MySpace. And even luckier is that I recently found my fave song from them after years of searching (when I remembered I was looking for it) it's a song called "Yeah Yeah Yeah" and it's wrong as hell but still my favorite ... go figure ...

well, I just wanted to let all those out there that have recently discovered that under my "drunken debaucherous image" is a martha stewart/june cleaver type ... I'm still me and I'm still here ... though a bit more settled at times .... so I'm better. like wine when it ages and the floaty shit settles to the bottom, right ... ???

A Trip, A Marriage and a "Little Bastard."

2006-01-04T07:48:00.000-05:00

Jason and I took my boys to Indianapolis for Christmas so that they could meet the family, most importantly, his sons. Luckily for us, all 4 of the boys got along pretty well and the trip there and back wasn't as bad as it could have been. Yeah - we had to stop on the way there to buy Devon socks/new shoes to get rid of the stinky feet odor and CJ got sick in the truck 100 miles from home but - hey, at least we didn't kill each other, huh??

Thursday, December 29 at 3:00 - Jason and I got married at the Chatham County Courthouse. The only other person that was there besides the Judge was my boss - who helped get the Judge for us on such short notice. Even though it wasn't a big wedding, I still followed the bride tradition "something old & blue - Jason's class ring with my birthstone and the rebel flag under the stone, something new - black hills gold heart necklace his mom gave me for Christmas, something borrowed - a green plastic army man from Bryce tied to a strand of antique pearls around my wrist. Oh, and I wore an off white sheath with matching jacket .... we have a picture of us taken right after the wedding but it's on the disposable camera that I haven't had time to develop yet ....

We spent New Year's Eve with Jessica and Rheannon and "her date" for the weekend. I'd call him a loser but unfortunately for him - he doesn't even have the qualities needed to be classified in the same group as the rest of us "Losers" so we'll just leave it at that .... but shopping, fireworks on River Street, drunk dialing and just hanging out with Jessica and my new husband made it a very cool weekend ...

Monday after Jessica left - me and CJ took Jason's ring to get resized and to have mine soldered together. Of course, a trip to the mall meant buying an outfit to wear on the plane and getting my hair cut .. good thing Jason loves me and didn't throw too much of a fit when he finally saw my haircut ...

Then, after the mall it was a trip to Petsmart to buy Hermit Crab shells/supplies and to look at lizards ... we get home and I call Jason to tell him about this really cool gecco I saw and he said it sounded neat and we'd have to get it when we got back ....

Yeah - so ya'll that know me know that him saying that meant another trip in the rain to Petsmart to buy the gecco and all it's shit ... the cage, the plants, the rock hiding place, the bedding, the water bowl, the heatlight, the crickets, the crickets food, the crickets cage, the mister ... oh yeah, and the gecco.

Jason named his Crocodile Gecco "Little Bastard." It's a pretty cool looking thing for a reptile. Jason really wanted a baby alligator and even though he already had a taxidermied one, he wanted one that breathed (GEESH! picky picky, lol) so, I compromised and got him a gecco instead. Turns out, his gecco is the "bad ass" of geccos that does not play well with others and doesn't share his dwelling unless it's with a female ... Oh well - just wait until the boys start talking about him - that's gonna be fun, won't it? "Jason/Dad got "Little Bastard" but all he does is eat crickets and sleep and won't let us touch him."

My office move was yesterday and it was full of the "everything going wrong that can go wrong" bullshit. We were supposed to move on Saturday but promised it'd be ready to move on Tuesday. The movers were going to meet us at 11am. The phones would be on and the computers reconfigured by end of business. HA HA! How about we finally meet the movers at the old office at 445 and then take the stuff and sit it in other offices in the building/in the middle of the floor so that the PAINTERS can work around it? Still no phones which means computers still can't be configured until today!

But the good news is I have just today left and then, tomorrow morning I fly out to Nassau. I'll be there until next week with my new husband and his company ....

Oh and Jessica - thanks for mentioning the porn star name - it's sticking nicely thanks, lol!

So that's about it for the moment. I'm off to shower and head to the office then back home tonight to pack, clean and sleep until time to leave .... hope ya'll have been doing well .... I'll post pictures soon ....

Yeah, so drunken blogs are a bad idea ...

2005-11-18T23:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm drinking tonight ... and all my men are asleep ... (lol, yeah that makes me sound like a HO but anyone that knows me, knows that means my sons and Jason so bite me if you don't get it) Anyway, I figured I'd take this moment to write a blog and get some of the thoughts out of my head that are in there causing chaos ... this is probably gonna be one wierd ass blog (probably a mile long) and hard as hell to follow so don't say you weren't warned ...

Ok, so this week was a pretty emotional one for me.

My son got hit by a hit and run driver while he was riding his bike earlier this week and I swear I lost 10 years of my life because of it. How can I not have? I love my sons more than life itself and with CJ, I almost died having him and almost lost him a few times when he was a baby ... I still am kinda glad that we haven't found out who did it because I know if I do, I'll turn into something that won't be pretty. I'm pretty docile for the most part till you hurt with someone I love and then, I can be quite evil ... Yes, my first thoughts of what I'd do to that fucker included rope, his balls and dragging him behind a moving vehicle but hell, he hurt my baby .. what else would you expect of me??

Then, I find out one of my best friends is in love with me. Yes, that shocked the hell out of me. I honestly had no idea he felt that way but probably should have known. This is someone that I tell pretty much everything to. There's hardly anything that he doesn't know about me. I don't feel uncomfortable about it. Just sorry that for him, I can't reciprocate the feelings on the level that he has for me. I love him for being my friend. For being there for me all the time. For giving me his insight. For his sacrifices. For being the one person I can turn to when things are too overwhelming for me. And for caring when it seems that sometimes, some others are only out for their own gain ... and yes, he is someone that I'd gladly walk through fire for if he needed me to ... he knows that (or he should) but I can't return the love he feels no matter how honored that I am ...

I also hurt Jason a bit by accidentally calling him the wrong name, twice in one night. Yeah, I have my reasons or excuses why it happened. Anyone that knows me knows I hate excuses though ... but it was just too much of the wrong shit happening for me to not do it. I had my ex's family calling/emailing me, my ex hubby left his baby daughter here for me to babysit using a cup that I had bought Katie that is about Katie's age, he was picking on me, my house was total chaos ... so it slipped ... twice. And I could tell how much it bothered him immediately. Of course, he said it didn't but his actions changed and I knew that he was just trying to make me not feel so bad about it, but mine would have too ... he's human and that was a big blow ... the next morning, I was worried about it ... and talked to my 2 best friends about it .. both said that if he loved me, he'd understand .. and as always, they were right. He does understand ..but that can't make me stop feeling like a piece of shit for doing it ...

I guess that brings me to Jason. Yes, he's in my top 8 and in my main picture with me for the moment. He and I haven't known each other long at all but it seems like we've known each other forever. We have those periods of comfortable silence. He accepts me for me, even with my addictions to myspace, bud light, and marlboro light. Hell, he'll even bring me beer if he thinks I need it and go out for it if I run out. He's ok when my guy friends call/email ... If I'm sitting here playing on the computer, he sits patiently waiting for me to finish and tells me to have fun. My friends like him. And the ones that hated my ex are coming around again hanging out with us ... and everyone is having fun. There is none of that uncomfortable silence that followed me before and that makes me smile.

Yep, I met and fell for this one quick. Way quicker than any before him. I even talked to my ex hubby about it since he is part of my life too for the boys, knows me better than anyone and his input? "well, I fell in love with you the first night I met you and we had 2 sons and were married 7 years. Jason is a good guy, give him a chance and don't fuck it up." LOL .. now that was weird since he disliked everyone else I've ever been with ...

I don't know where this relationship is going to go. Yeah, I have had the men that love me, fall for me quickly and leave (or should leave) quickly with the same whirlwind of emotions that they came in with so this scares the hell out of me ... I don't want to think of a time that Jason isn't here ... he says he doesn't either and his eyes say that too ... none of the others did ... there are no inner gut feelings telling me to run ... no red flags .. hell, he's already humored me on all the things that my exes did to try to show me he isn't like them ... so what else can I do but sit here, enjoy the life that I have ... take all the happiness out of it that I can ... hope my friends feel half the happiness I feel now and try to do what I can to make it work without changing who I am??

I don't have any real answers right now. I know that I'm really happy, happier than I've been. I have great friends, a great life .. a possible future with someone that is happy with me without changing me that doesn't have so much drama/pain/hurt that my exes has had ... yeah, I'm drinking more than I want to admit ... I smoke too much ... I stay up too late and spend too much time on the internet .. but I'm happy dammit ... and maybe that is selfish of me but I don't care. For once in my life, I want to be able to enjoy being happy without second guessing everything ... is that too much to ask???

Some People Are Evil.

2005-11-15T11:11:00.000-05:00

Last night, my son CJ was riding his bike through our apartment complex. It's fairly well lit so I generally don't mind letting him ride after dark as long as he stays in the complex. Well, this has now changed and he will not be allowed to ride after dark at all for a long, long time.

Why would I change this all of a sudden??

Last night, as he was riding at the front of our apartment complex, a truck turned sharply and hit him, smashing his fingers between the handlebars and the truck and ultimately, knocking him over the handlebars. He's ok except for bumps, bruises and scrapes THANK GOD but ... that idiot driver kept right on going as my child was laying there on the ground. CJ said he yelled at him as he sped away "Are you ok?".

What the fuck kind of monster can hit a child, on a bike or otherwise, and keep going even as they see them laying on the ground? I know no matter what, I couldn't. Maybe it's just that I'm a mother and a bit naive but I cannot imagine being that incompassionate and let a child, or an adult for that matter, lay there without offering some sort of assistance.

I called CJs dad over - who broke all sorts of laws speeding, etc. to my apartment to check on our son. Filled out the police report. Had the EMS look at CJ and make sure that he was ok. Poor Jason showed up at my apartment in the middle of all this chaos too ... and ya know, none of us could understand how someone could do this.

I'm not sure if I believe in Heaven/Hell like most people do but if indeed there is a hell, I certainly hope that there is a special place there that burns hotter, more intense with crueler punishment for people that show so much lack of concern/compassion for others ..

My son was very lucky .... and so am I.

I've been thinking ...

2005-11-13T20:20:00.000-05:00

Yeah, Yeah - I know .. scary thought ... but humor me, will ya?

Last weekend, Jason & I had this wonderfully romantic weekend .. just him and I ... and it was the closest thing to a perfect date that I've ever known ... hey, I'm 35 so that's saying alot, lol.

This weekend, we spent it with the kids. My boys and Tori most of the time. We even took them to Burger King first and then the beach and all 3 of them got in the water (Jason took pictures so you have to wait until he downloads them) I was standing on the beach with Jason behind me holding me, watching them in the water and first, a song came to mind that I started singing (I Hope You Dance) .. and then a poem that I quickly wrote down as soon as we walked back to the truck ... (I'll try to get the notepad and post it later)

And in my thoughts - I was thinking how awesome it is that my kids can have fun no matter what they're doing. Here they were, in November, swimming in the ocean. Laughing. Smiling. Enjoying Life. With that child-like innocence that so many of us lose because we get jaded as we get older. That's why that song popped into my head and I had to start singing it. I hope my sons can always find their own happiness. Even when society may frown on them. Yes, it's the middle of November and they're swimming in the ocean. But, most importantly, they were happy and having fun when all the others out there were just looking at them. Me? I was just surrounded by happiness and love for them. Yes, I guess maybe I have taught them more than even I realize ...

Jason realizes that Tori is looking for positive attention and although she can sometimes get aggravating, he accepts her too. And that says alot about him. He's not only accepting me and my sons, but also a teenage girl that, although very wierd at times, likes spending time with me, my sons and him ... how many others out there would do that? He doesn't exclude her from our activities. Most men out there would. But then again, he's not most men.

I had to tell him something last night that I was scared to death to tell him. Actually, 2 things. He could tell there was something bothering me but wasn't sure what and caring about me, he thought all the wrong things. I had told my friends and was told that the best way to tell him was to be honest and that if he loved me, he'd understand. Of course he did understand and didn't run. He's that way. Yeah, my friends were right (they usually are, lol)

Life is always full of surprises. Especially my life. Even this week, though I've been really happy with Jason, I had a bit of unsettling news from my past. It's bad but not bad enough that I can't handle it. And thankfully, Jason loves me enough that he's ready to deal with it with me.

But I guess that's what life is huh? Dealing with that bad to appreciate the good? If that is indeed what we must do ... I'd have to say at this moment in my life ... all the bad that I've been through is definitely worth the happiness I have now.

I only wish that my friends, especially Jessica, Matt .. Mac, and Tara could find the happiness that they deserve in life ... but I know that when the time is right, they will. Till then, I'll be here for them as much as I can ... loving, missing and wishing for them all the happiness they deserve and more ...

Brock, 2 Malls and 4 People on a beach ...

2005-11-07T13:24:00.000-05:00

Saturday, Jason brought me over a cute little bear that remained nameless until Sunday morning - but I cannot tell you about that yet. I first must tell you about the delicious italian dinner he cooked me and how he cleaned up the mess he made in the kitchen, even emptying my dishwasher from the previous day. He made this pasta dish that starts with an 'M' but I don't remember the rest of it. All I know is that it was sausage, hamburger, green peppers, mushrooms, sauce served over pasta with Cheesy Garlic Bread and Oh so Yummy!! (you're jealous, aren't you, lol)

And then, he doted on me all evening, though why, I'm still not sure, I just enjoyed it for what it was .... cuddling, watching movies and just chatting ...

Sunday morning, we woke up about 7 am. Why you might ask?? Hellifiknow but it gave us an opportunity to lay there and talk about everything and nothing at all ... and of course, that meant Tori coming to bug us at least twice, lol. During our conversation, he and I discussed a rather off the wall topic to which I was able to name my cute little bear after. His name is now Brock. I'm sorry that I cannot show you a picture of him but alas, I did not even break out that camera once this weekend. WTF is getting into me???

CJ came home about 1230 and Jason, me, CJ and Tori (yes, Tori) went off to let Jason's puppy out and to go to the Savannah Mall so that I could get CJ clothes and Tori some Chucks. Savannah Mall wasn't that exciting although I did find CJ a bunch of stuff, we had lunch there and ran into my old friend Jo. We did not however find Tori's Chucks - so, yes, much to my horror, off we went to the Oglethorpe Mall ....

At the Oglethorpe Mall, we finally found the Chucks, which she made me carry all the way through the mall and back to the truck ... the lil shit, lol .... we also visited Spencer's (very entertaining with a 12 & 14yr old lemme tell you) Jason had the salesperson looking at him funny because he was playing with a feather trying to tickle me with it ... yeah, seems he's a bit of a perv, lol!

After that, Jason suggested we go for a walk on the beach. Good, romantic idea, right?? WRONG! Not when you have the aforementioned 12 & 14yr olds with you.

We get to Tybee and all of us take our shoes off and roll the pant legs up. (This will turn out to be a bad, bad idea) then, I get the brilliant idea to race my 12 yr old son. Well, anyone that knows me, knows that my name should be Grace because I'm not the most graceful of people and tend to hurt myself when I forget that I'm 35, not 15 anymore.

Anyway - back to the race .. all 4 of us tear off down the beach until - yep, you guessed it - I tripped over a dip in the beach and landed on my leg. It hurt like hell because I was running fast and landed with a thud - scratching/bruising/scraping the hell out of my leg just below the knee. So now, I've got a booboo, a damp ass and sand in places I'd rather not have. But, still, it's the beach ... so let's make the most of it, shall we??

Remember me telling you taking shoes off was a bad idea?? Well, this is where that become very apparent ... CJ and Tori are goofing off as teenage boys and girls do in the water mind you which, with no shoes and rolled pant legs wouldn't be a bad idea UNTIL CJ decides to throw Tori in. And the struggle and YEP! In goes CJ - getting totally soaked. Now don't go thinking that Tori is victorious and remained dry because sadly for poor Jason's truck and it's cloth seats, she didn't ... So now, our romanticly intended walk on the beach has turned into me yelling at CJ for being wet and throwing Tori in and them complaining about being wet ... but yet continually getting wetter ...

After I yelled at CJ and threatened the most horrific of all punishments, they stop getting into the ocean. (For those non-teen parents out there, that means no phone, no computer and no XBox) But not the complaining or the removing of removable articles to swing to try to dry as we continue to walk the beach.

Anyway, we leave the beach and go to Sonic for dinner. Let me tell you, THAT was a very memorable trip that had all of us in sidesplitting laughter ... it's a wonder I did not choke on my wrap .... I won't get into details but will tell you that you had to have been there .... but let me warn you, it wasn't for the weak ...

Finally get back to my apartment and learn that Jason is incredibly ticklish ... but he also found out because of my wonderfully loudmouthed son that I am too so the 4 of us ended up tickling the shit out of each other for a while till it was finally time to send the kids to beddy bye and call it a night ...

All I can say is What a Wonderous Weekend ....

How would you describe a "near perfect evening?"

2005-11-05T11:31:00.000-05:00

How would you describe a "near perfect evening?"

Well, how about one that starts with being able to leave work in time to stop by the store, take a hot bath and a quick nap before a date?

And, how about if that date calls to tell you traffic is bad so he may be a little late ... then shows up with a dozen red roses?

Then you go to a cute little seafood restaurant on the marsh with outdoor dining and although the service is slow at first, the live band, food, atmosphere and company makes it seem like something out of a romance novel. (Ok, so I still don't know what "woo-woo" means but it was funny discussing the possible meaning of it, lol)

And after dinner, you go for a walk on the beach. A perfect star-studded sky, just the right temperature, the surf pounding the shore in a lulling melody ... yeah, so the drunk chic laying at the foot of the stairs when we got there could have shattered that "romance novel image" but hey, it was good for laughs so, it's all good ...

After that, drive home and play on myspace. Customizing pages, drinking a few beers, listening to music .. which of course, since I've drank a few beers you know I just HAD to sing along with, lol ... and just feeling that perfect mixture of comfort and excitement ... and looking over while your drunk ass is singing to find someone smiling at you ...

Then, falling asleep in someone's arms .... without the pressure or need for sex to feel that special closeness ... and waking up to rude ass neighbors and loud ass alarm clocks WAY TOO Early but still finding reasons to smile about it just because you're still in that person's arms ... and wanting to do it again ...

Yep, that's what I call a "near perfect evening."

Kissing Frogs & Pondering

2005-03-08T22:56:00.000-05:00

So it seems that you have to kiss a lot of frogs in an attempt to find a prince. Lately, it seems my frogs are toads in disguise so all I end up getting are warts, lol. Granted, I'm not out kissing ALOT of frogs, but even the few that I take a chance with turn out to be all wrong for me.

Maybe it's me not really wanting to find a "Prince" just yet? Maybe I'm just content in my life, albeit a bit lonely at times, and really don't want to risk upheaving what I have worked YET AGAIN so hard to maintain all on my own. YET .. I still need to feel comfort, love and yes, even lust on some level at some points to maintain my sanity and the things about me that make me who I am? But some in our lovely society would say that I am a slut for that. Oh well, they can bite me! Guys do it all the time and they aren't judged so leave me alone too.

I have recently discovered that I am "breaking the cycle" of finding the "cookie cutter type" guys I have dated in the past. I mean, they didn't work so obviously, I needed to change something, right? So I have dated men that were not like any of the men in my past. But it seems that even they don't work out, so - geesh! now what?

Is it time to re-evaluate myself? Could that be what I need to do? Or is it still possible to find that ONE GUY out there that is PERFECT for me without me changing who I am?

Those of you that know or read about me through these postings know that I am a strange mixture of a loyally romantic sweetheart that cares deeply, thinks and ponders things alot, that flirts, drinks, takes strange pictures of myself depending on what my moods are (and yes, I take the pictures I post by myself - that's why they invented the timer, lol) takes most things in life with a carefree attitude, rarely holds grudges or thinks badly about anyone regardless of what they've done and just likes to smile and make others that I share my world with smile when I can.

I am a leader and very rarely follow in others footsteps or changes things about myself to fit in. I have a mind of my own - good, bad or indifferent - and do not rely on society or others to tell me what is cool, right or wrong, acceptable or crosses the line, what to laugh or cry about, or what I need to do to fit in. I think those that do are mindless zombies walking around feeding off others because they lack the traits needed to live their own life without guidance or outside interference.

And Guess What? Sometimes, more so than not, I get all kinds of comments from people. You Know? I get lots that don't like or understand me or think that it is their job to point out my flaws. GET OVER IT. The sooner they realize that what they say or try to tell me goes in one ear and out the other, the happier all involved will be.

Now, let's not confuse this with my true friends making suggestions or giving me insight or different perspectives from those I possess. I can and do take critiscm from those that matter. And sometimes, I do alter things as needed. I do not and will not tolerate people that don't know who I am telling me things that I do are wrong for whatever reason they see fit to tell me.

What most people don't realize about me is that although I seem to smile, laugh and take most things in stride - my life has been anything but a walk in the park with a silver spoon in my mouth. I have been dealt more blows than most people will ever even hear about but always manage to pick myself up, dust my ass off and go on without letting the bad things change who I am or keep me down for long. Others rely on many things to get through trivial things. Some even have to be negative all the time and in the process, make everyone around them negative and that DRIVES ME BONKERS!!! I could sit here and tell you all the bad things I have lived through in my life - but what's the point? We all have something negative that happens to us at some point, right? Does that mean we are to be pitied? Have things made easier for us? HELL NO! We're given what we can handle and what we are destined to survive/face - PERIOD. Does this mean that we are to be carried all the time? No! Yes, there are times everyone needs that but I have little or no tolerance for those out there that use others to get by. Grow backbones and learn to do it on your own. When you can do that, you'll find that your life is a lot happier, even when things seem at their roughest. And, when you can do all that by yourself - then you can come talk to me and I might take your critiscm to heart - but don't hold your breath.

Gawd where am I headed with all this rambling?? Hellifiknow. There are a rare few that even know parts of things in my life. I choose to keep certain aspects hidden. Not because of shame but because there are things that in the past when people found out what they were, they used them to hurt me - the proverbial salt in wounds type things - so now, if I open up and spill things, I'm more careful that the person that I tell things to deserves to hear them.

Ok, I think I've confused you and me enough for tonight ... so maybe I'll finish this train of thought some other time ...

Hydra, Screenin' Steve & Makin Lil Boys Dreams Come Trye

2005-02-27T21:16:00.001-05:00

I was sitting here with CJ one night trying to decide what he wanted for his birthday. To pass time, we were looking at some of the comments I had on myspace and he saw the "dragon" from Hydra and said he wanted that as a Tshirt.

No problem, right?? Just go to their site Hydra and order him one, right?? WRONG. Seems they didn't have a shirt with that "dragon" on it.

So now what?

Well, being ME, I send messages to both Hydra and my friend Steve, of Screenin Steven's TShirt Shack and asked if it'd ok for Steve to make me a shirt with the "dragon" on it for CJ.

Thank god both parties agreed. I sent Steve the artwork but he researched and found some even better than I had sent him and VIOLA!! CJ's Tshirt was now created.

CJ saw his shirt Friday night and immediately fell in love with it. We went out Saturday morning to get a picture of him in it, which I proudly sent off to both Hydra and Steve .. and now it seems that both of them have posted pics of him in his shirt on their sites.

Being a 12 yr old is hard. I know, I've been there, lol. But, I know how happy this is going to make him and that means more to me than if someone dropped a million dollars in my lap.

So Steve, TJ, Ricky, Aaron, Howard - I want to thank you all for what you've done to bring a smile to my son's face .. I owe you more than you could ever know .. Ya'll ROCK!!!

Here's the prized shirt & owner ... isn't he just the cutest??

The Peelers @ The Jinx - My Pictorial Account

2005-02-24T20:40:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I went to see The Peelers at the Jinx on Monday Night ...

I got to hang out with some really cool people like Chris & Renee ...

and of course Manny ...

and yes, there was lots of dancing ...

and just hanging out & having a good time with friends ....

With lots of Beer Involved ...

too bad ya missed it :)

Here's a link to all the other pics I took in case ya wanna see ...

The Peelers @ The Jinx

oh, and here's a link to one of their songs if ya wanna hear it
Katie Bar The Door

The Candle, a poem by ABK

2005-02-19T21:46:00.000-05:00

I lit myself a candle
Admist sadness and despair

I lit myself a candle
Of it's relief I was unaware.

For as the candle burned
My sadness soon took flight

For as the candle burned
An Inner Glow churned warm and bright

As the flames flickered
My lonely spirit danced

As the flames flickered
I saw a glimpse of happiness that might soon be chanced.

As the wax pooled
I felt an end to dark lonely nights

As the wax pooled
I no longer felt the fright.

As I stared at the melted mass
I remembered that hearts are meant to be broken

As I stared at the melted mass
I realized some words should never be spoken

And when my candle had burned to an end
I felt renewed and born again.

And when my candle had burned to an end
I remembered that loving and losing is not a sin.

I lit myself this candle admist sadness and despair
Unknowingly opening doors within my heart and mind

I lit myself this candle admist sadness and despair
Answering the questions - my soul had yet to find.

Labor of Love - A Valentine's Gift To My Sons

2005-02-14T20:53:00.000-05:00

For Valentine's this year, I decided to have my sons initials tattooed on my lower back.

So I got Tid to go with me to see Marcus at Smiling Buddha Tattoo in Savannah yesterday and told him that I wanted wings, initials and hearts - the rest of the design I left up to him ...

He surpassed even my expectations and blew me & I think Tid away with this custom design:

I didn't let anyone else see it until after the boys and I went out for our Valentine's Dinner Date tonight at Steamers Seafood House ...

Here's a picture of them beside their initials:

Their response to their tattoo?? Well, CJ said that it was "Da Bomb" and Devon said "his" was "so cool even Antarctica couldn't compare." (Guess that means they liked them??)

Yeah, I coulda gone to dinner with someone else and not had crab legs sprayed on me all night or little boys making silly school jokes .. but, to me I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather spend my Valentine's Day with ...

Thank you all for letting me share this moment with you .. and I hope that your Valentine's Day was half as cool as mine was.

CJ Turned 12 Today

2005-02-08T23:25:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm not bummed about my son turning 12 today .. even though that means I am yet another year older ... I am not going to dwell on the age thing where I am concerned ...

Instead, I will dwell on how much older he is getting ... how much progress he has made in his short life ... how much he has impacted my life ... and how very glad I am to be given him as a gift ...

It seems like only yesterday he was a tiny baby, my first born son. He was the cutest baby in that whole nursery at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland. And there were LOTS of babies .. and NO it isn't me being a prejudiced mom either. He was born with a head full of platnium blonde hair ... with an angelic smile that I knew right away was going to mean trouble for all the females he ever came into contact with (and so far, I'm right about that)

If I close my eyes, I can still see him lying in that incubator because his bilirubin was too high with the little eye shield on making him look like a SuperHero (he was, he just didn't know it, but I'll tell you about that in a minute) ... and they were afraid he'd need a transfusion ... after an emergency cesarean delivery where they almost lost both of us ... but he was a fighter, not sure where he got it, but he was .. and he kicked that jaundice and amazed the hospital staff and I got to bring him home on Valentine's Day 2003 - my best Valentine's gift ever! (and I doubt it will ever be topped)

Soon after I brought him home from the hospital, my dad's health took a turn for the worst and I moved back in with my parents with my son. Yes, I was married at the time and my husband came with me .. I had to be close to my dad, to help in any way that I could. Thankfully my husband understood and stuck by me because he knew that this was what I needed to do.

My dad died the day before CJ turned 2 months old. It was the week of Easter. After weeks of suffering and when he was alone in the room with my mom. Dealing with losing my dad without my son would have been unbearable for me ... I honestly believe, to this day, that someone sent him to me so that I could get through it all. So yes, in my eyes, he will always be my angel, my SuperHero because when I was (and still am) at my lowest, most saddest points - my son, my beautiful little boy, always, always manages to make me smile and remember that there are things, even in our darkest hours left to smile about ...

He hated feeling the rain the first time he touched it but loved the water when he first got in a pool. He loved Barney, much to my dismay. He toppled scrub buckets and laughed at the bubbles he swatted with his little hands while lying in the watery mess. He was his dad's constant companion when dad wasn't at work ... he tamed and captured my little sister's heart. He took his first steps the day I went into labor with his baby brother.

We all got through the death and aftermath that it caused so eventually, needing a change ... I moved with my husband and my sons to Florida first and then to Georgia, where we now call home. It's alot better here for them than in West Virginia although most of my friends and all of my family are there ...

I taught him how to read/write ... was in play groups with him, took him to the beach or pool every day in the summers and cried the day I took him to his first Pre-K class ... watched him grow from a helpless little baby to an emerging boy that had spirit & spunk and a personality that is undescribable.

His dad & I divorced in 1999. Even at 6 years old, he took it very well. Even though we tried to "hide things from them" he knew that we had been fighting and told me in the ride to our new home without daddy that "He would miss daddy but didn't want mommy to cry anymore."

After about 6 months though, my poor baby got soo sad - he didn't eat right, got in trouble in school and was such a miserable little boy. I asked him what I could do to make things better for him .. and he said "I want to live with my Daddy."

Talk about something that rips your heart out for a minute. All I ever wanted from my earliest memories were to be a mom ... and here was my son that I love more than anything asking to live with Daddy more than me.

After a while, I decided that to be a good parent, I had to do what was best for my son ... so, I let him have what he wanted. I would not separate the boys because they had never been apart so both boys went to live with dad thru the week and with me on weekends. I have NEVER Regretted that decision. Society may think that a kid should be with their mom .. but little boys need their dad's (when their dad's aren't deadbeat pricks) and it is not ultimately society's decision about what is best for my sons - it is mine .. and I know that I did what was best for my sons and their happiness - society can kiss my ass if it doesn't approve ...

In the years since that happened, my son has grown into a very bright little boy. He makes good grades, plays football or fall baseball (when he isn't in choir for the girls), he helps his dad do prep work to paint yachts so he can learn a trade for when he is older (and yes, be close to dad still) he rides go-carts, fights with his brother but protects and looks out for his 1 year old baby sister.

He is the outspoken, flirtatious, sensitive one of my 2 sons. He does not accept people well that cause hurt to those he loves. He tries, but he just can't ... he is the one that senses when you need a hug the most and is there to give it ... he says what he thinks (he always has) and isn't afraid to ask for what he wants ... he already stands up for what he thinks is right .. and will go out of his way to make someone smile.

He is the reason they stay with Dad more than me ... but Dad is a good dad. The kind that teaches them a trade even though he wants them to go to college so they don't have to do manual labor.

He is my beautiful, flirtatious, smart, stubborn, determined, caring, little boy and he's 12. Soon, it won't be soo cool to hang out with mom on weekends and sometimes through the week.

But for now, I'll take the moments when he does think it is cool. The times he comes up out of no where with the hugs and "I love you Mommy" and they will always overcome the times that he isn't here with me .. because he knows he has a choice and got to freely make it .. without guilt ...

and he knows without question that Mommy loves him and will always be here for him no matter what ... even if it means making him do chores, get good grades and respect others.

and what more can a Mom want??

My New Year's Eve - gotta share this one with you all

2004-12-31T21:59:00.000-05:00

I'm sittin here so full of pride right now that I am about to bust out at the seams ...

Why??

Because as I type this message to you all, my 2 incredible sons are busy packing up their Playstation, 14 games, and 2 controllers with their own little "message" to the recepient and contents of the box written for my friend's neighbor kids that don't have a video game of their own ...

I am so proud of their generosity right now, I'm beyond words to describe it ... I snapped a picture of it for memories sake because I never want to forget the look on their faces when they've done their first act of charity all on their own ...

Being a momma at times like this is the best gift I've ever been given in my life ... I hope you all experience this feeling in your lifetime because it's worth more than all the money in the world

Thanks for letting me share this moment with you - May you all have a great 2005!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS ~ FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS

2004-12-23T22:30:00.000-05:00

This is CJ, Me & Devon tonight in front of our tree!

CJ calls this shot "James Blondes," lol

They are playing with their new BB guns they just got tonight. Those things weight like a real gun, have clips that release with your thumb and are just cool as shit .. how come we didn't have this kinda stuff when we were little??

******************************

WE HOPE YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES HAVE THE HAPPIEST HOLIDAYS AND THE MOST ROCKING NEW YEAR EVER.

MAY 2005 BRING YOU ALL YOU WANT, NEED AND DESIRE.

LOVE, HUGS & KISSES

Partying With Members of Loserville

2004-12-19T21:36:00.000-05:00

So, after work on Friday, I hit the mall again to finish up some Christmas shopping and get some new clothes/boots for myself.

I got home and my friend Steve came down for the weekend from NC so we call up Tid and hit downtown Savannah for a bit.

After shots at the Jinx, we head to SC to go to the Gold Club to see Wormbelly, a band outta Charleston. (Yeah, it's a strip club that has live bands, go figure) Turns out, the band sucks and I have way more fun watching the girls dance and even turn down some free lap dances, lol!

We come back to my apartment and continue drinking a bit until we all have to crash!!! Poor Tid even had to go in to work around 6, ugh!!!

I get out of bed and make a trip to Wal-Mart with Steve for more beer, stuff to make them dinner and yep! more Christmas stuff for my boys.

After we get back, we head over to Tid's for Steve's tour of the Bunker.

Next, we go out to the shooting range and shot the Glock 40, AR-15 and SKS. (I didn't shoot the SKS because Tid was busy trying to sight it) But all in all, it was Very Cool!!!

Then, I make dinner (BBQ chicken breast with bacon & cheese, beefy baked beans, broccoli & cheese and rice-a-roni)

After naps & showers, we all head back downtown.

First stop, the new Irish bar. A neat little bar that has awesome beer!

Then we hit the Jinx again. It wasn't the normal "music" either. It was dance club shit that we had to pay $4 to get in to ... but hey, we all moaned about it a bit but no one left, go figure!!

Being in the partying mood, I even got up to dance on stage a bit and got $1 shoved in my jeans - gotta love that one huh?? hee hee

Steve leaves with some girl so me and Tid keep hanging out at the Jinx until last call, then we go over to O'Connells until they stop serving.

As we decided to call it a night, 2 altercations started but luckily fights were avoided. Tid and I took (well Tid drove) a few friends from downtown to their house and we of course made the customary stop at Krystal's. (You gotta eat Krystal's when you're drunk, it's an unwritten law I think)

Steve made it here by cab about 6 this morning. Tid left around 9 and Steve headed for NC around 11.

Me? After waking up to tell them each goodbye and talk a bit before they left, I have stayed my ass in bed most of the day recovering from my weekend of drunken debauchery, lol!!

Well now it's almost 10pm, my liver is still screaming and I'm still partially hungover so I think it's time for me to get off here and go back to bed.

Here's a link to the rest of the pictures if you want to see:

Hope ya'll had as good a weekend as I did!

Sweet Dreams!

CJ's Christmas Concert

2004-12-14T23:44:00.000-05:00

Luckily for me, I got off work on-timeish tonight because as soon as I walked in the door, my phone rings.

It's my oldest son CJ on his way to his Christmas Concert that he forgot to tell me about. (Was hoping I'd get a nice hot bath but, oh well, change of plans)

Dad comes to pick me up and we all go to the school. Dad, Me, and Devon (my youngest, who's 10 1/2) find seats. As we watch the kids line up, I see just why my beautiful Baby Boy decided to join Chorus in the first place. He is one of 3 boys amidst 65 girls, mostly all blondes. (hmmph, starting early, ain't he?) He sees me watching him and gives me this big grin! (uh huh, he knows what momma's thinking and is very proud of himself, lol!)

After they sing, the group moves for the others to perform and I see my innocent? little boy (he's 11 1/2) flirting with 5 different little girls, who are watching him with googly eyes. He keeps looking up at us in the bleachers with that look that is his trademark!! (not sure where he got it, but already don't like it, lol!)

Meanwhile, Devon decides to take a picture of the flirting (with the new digital cam he got from Grandma when she was here last weekend) and says "Now I have proof of him flirting with other girls." He says that he is going to show it to CJ's girlfriend (whom I find out he likes too, and for good reason? she's a little cutie)

I already know that if he does try this, there's going to be a fight but, they're at dad's so he'll be the one having to break it up this time, thank goodness, lol!! Dad turns to me and says "Gee, wonder where he got that flirty nature from?" I just shrugged and said "I dunno, where?" (yeah, I'm grinning at this point)

Next comes the other choirs and the bands perform. The concert ended with a Sing-Along of Christmas Carols (that I happily joined in).

All in all, it was a great concert and the kids did really well. Some of the groups have made it to State Competitions already and it's just Middle School!

I end up giving the PTSO (Parent Teacher School Organization) a donation and buying CJ one of the blanket/rugs that they are selling to raise money and we leave to head to Taco Bell before I get dropped off at home.

Yeah, so my plans got altered a bit but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

I'm trying to post pics of the "look" that CJ is now becoming infamous for and their performance tonight, if you can't see them, try going to angelbearkiss.blogspot.com, they're visible there.

Hope ya'll had a great night too.

Sweet Dreams!!

2004-12-13T00:50:00.000-05:00

Me & My Henry - Relationships come & go, but friends are here to stay!!!

You Know You're From Georgia When ...

2004-12-10T21:29:00.000-05:00

You Know You're From Georgia When...

Sweet tea is THE drink. No questions.

When a waitress asks what you want to drink and you say Coke, she asks "What kind?"

"Ya'll" is a word.

Atlanta is known as "The City."

You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a Southerner.

The one way to be killed in .5 seconds is to talk about somebody's mama or talk bad to somebody's mama.

Krispy Kreme dounuts are the only kind of dounuts you eat.

Fried chicken is a major part of your diet.

When the Goverment started telling people to stock up on duck tape, you were waaaaaaaaaay ahead of them.

You walk into someone's house and people are sitting around smoking what they call "the garden"

On one side of the road there's Wal-Mart and on the other is a cotton field

You greet people with"Howdy, Whachu doin?"

You know what a 'dawg' is.

You know people who consider a six pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment.

The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."

Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

You still call the refrigerator the "icebox".

You call it a cold Christmas if you don't break out in a sweat in your new sweater.

Your whole town completely shuts down for 1 inch of snow or just the threat of snow

You know at least three streets named "Peachtree"

You don't know anyone who drinks Pepsi.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger... unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

People actually grow, eat and like okra!

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Georgia.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

"I Awoke This Morning" a poem by ABK

2004-12-09T20:02:00.000-05:00

I awoke this morning to a bright new day,
An inner voice had shown me the way.

I awoke this morning to clear blue skies,
The fog had been lifted from my eyes.

I awoke this morning with no sign of rain,
The rays of the sunshine washed away the pain.

I awoke this morning with a new lease on life,
Putting to bed all the trouble and strife.

I awoke this morning happy & glad,
Closing the book on all that made me sad.

I awoke this morning without fear,
I don't need a man to always be here.

I awoke this morning without any care,
Knowing my friends would always be there.

I awoke this morning to find my smile,
Thank goodness it had only been gone a short while.

2004-12-05T23:37:00.000-05:00

CJ & Devon Decorating the Tree.

Natural Wonder or Natural Disaster?

2004-12-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

Rainbow

?? Which Natural Wonder Or Disaster Are You ??

2004-11-28T21:44:00.000-05:00

Me, Brit & Paula @ the Jukebox last night.

2004-11-25T11:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

2004-11-20T02:51:00.000-05:00

Slacker eh?? Well, I found this card to tell you all that think I slack lately for not posting as much as normal because I actually have a job, kids, a house to maintain and such and can't spend all my time writing about what I'm doing - well, this cards for you ... hope your Friday night is as cool as mine was .. pizza & wings ... watched master & commander (dayum russell crow is hottt!!) and finding a card to express my thoughts on the slacker comment ... i'd say my night was pretty awesome. How about yours?

2004-11-15T09:40:00.000-05:00

Looking at the King of Hearts over a Flush!

2004-11-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

Brit, Paula & Steve - what are they up to now???

2004-11-15T09:33:00.000-05:00

Do Ya Feel Lucky, Punk?

2004-11-05T23:50:00.000-05:00

Or Pirate - you decide?!

2004-11-05T23:48:00.000-05:00

Witch?

2004-11-01T15:36:00.000-05:00

Me in Martinsburg, WV.

2004-11-01T08:40:00.000-05:00

Nicky, Me & Boyd.

2004-11-01T01:30:00.000-05:00

Me Beating Up My Sister Ro

2004-10-31T22:49:00.000-05:00

Charli, Me & Kayla at my mom's

RHRA Football Homecoming - Panther's Float

2004-10-23T17:17:00.000-04:00

Devon & his teammates on the float before the parade today.

My Sporty Sons

2004-10-23T10:12:00.000-04:00

CJ's number 16 for the Fall Baseball Home League and plays shortstop/outfield/second base. Devon plays for the U10 Panthers and is their newest (and BEST) Noseguard.
Having them both in different sports with different games/practices makes life a little hectic on weekends especially but I love them more than life itself so, I am one PROUD MOMMA ~~~ can you blame me?? They're adorable!!!

Tori & Me

2004-10-22T23:42:00.000-04:00

Tori lives upstairs and is Paula's daughter. For a 13yr old New York kid, she's pretty cool and I try to take her with me when I am out and about at the boys' games, parades, etc ... her "I dunno, Faggot" and "Nevermind it" can get a lil aggravating but I luvs her so, it's all good!

Me & Devon ~ PreGame

2004-10-21T23:12:00.000-04:00

Me & Devon before his game - ain't he a cutie???

Devon Plays Nose Guard!

2004-10-21T21:09:00.000-04:00

Devon was on top of his game tonight! They changed the coaching staff after an incident last week that had been building and he was AWESOME as Nose Guard, the position he loves to play. He even got his pinky broke - we used a Certs container and tape to stabilize his fingers - and he stayed in the game the entire second half. He wasn't named MVP but should have been. Yes, I am a very proud Momma at this moment!!

My Boss on TV

2004-10-17T23:46:00.000-04:00

I had a great weekend. It was long and tiring - but GREAT! I spent Friday & Saturday nights at the Richmond Hill Seafood Festival, moved into my new office today and set up all my cool new gadgets, went to dinner at the Shrimp Factory with my boss and his wife, then came home and watched my boss on TV.

Yes, I said watch my Boss on TV. I normally don't watch TV (just DVDs now and then) but tonight - my boss was on the local LawTalk program so I HAD TO WATCH IT!!! He answered the questions very well and at the end, they even displayed our new location! (Which is very good for business since he's starting his own practice)

Now, I'm heading to bed. I have a long week ahead of me and am thoroughly exhausted!

Sweet Dreams!

ABK Rulz on MySpace - Look Out!

2004-10-16T17:34:00.000-04:00

Oops - It's 5:30 and I'm supposed to be ready to go to the Seafood Festival but once again, I've spent almost all day goofing off on the dayum internet instead of getting ready earlier like I should have. (translation = sitting here with wet hair, wet nails & no shoes on)

Of course, I've also set up yet another internet account where I can post all kinds of stuff - ABK Rulz on MySpace - Look Out! - so, just when you thought I was restricted to BlogSpot and Loserville - think again. Of course, the MySpace site is cool as shit and has more interaction than this one - but don't worry, I'll still be on this one filling you in on all my latest shenanigans and shit! (Thought you could get rid of me easily didn't you? lol)

Ok well, I really gotta get motivated now or the boys and Tori are gonna gang up and beat me for making them miss a ride or something.

2004-10-16T09:11:00.000-04:00

Devon @ Richmond Hill Seafood Festival - even with rides & games, he'd still rather be climbing. (He's sitting on the top of the swings)

2004-10-16T09:08:00.000-04:00

CJ playing the Dart Game @ Richmond Hill Seafood Festival - He won on the first try and picked out a 69 Firebird picture for his room. (In a few more years, he'll probably be picking the Playboy Bunny or Bikini Model pics, lol)

UGH! It's Monday!

2004-10-11T21:43:00.000-04:00

Chuck left me a comment on my post from yesterday asking me "how many buckets of rain and if he could get an estimate?" Well ~ I told him "I would say about 50 buckets (10 gallon buckets to be exact) every minute! Can you believe it? I actually contemplated going swimming in my front yard/parking lot!" So far, he hasn't responded but I'll let you know if he does.

Incidentally, Chuck is one of the few people that I know reads my blog on a regular basis. At least he didn't make a comment about the Yahoo Personal Ad I posted, huh?? I shudder to think of what he might have said!

Today was a good, busy day at work. Still working on "transition issues" but hope to be in my new office soon. I was groggy all day today because I stayed up until after 3am talking to someone. (Didn't help that I was still sick from Friday I suppose) but, it was very interesting conversation and made me smile until my cheeks hurt ~ every conversation should be that way!

After I came home from work, I took a hot bath (No, I didn't shower this morning. I didn't wake up until 8 and have to leave at 830 so I just got dressed, brushed my teeth, put on some make up and went to work and still made it there by 845 ~ I'm good, what can I say?) smoked a cigarette with Paula & Brittany and went for CRABLEGS and BEER (mmm, beer) with the conversationalist and his son. It was very nice. (His son is 16 and could teach my 2 a few things, whether or not it would be good things or not remains to be seen)

Oops, now, I'm sitting here on the phone and losing the ability to concentrate on my jouirnal so I'll have to get back to you later ... Sweet Dreams Ya'll ....

Rainy Sunday In Richmond Hill

2004-10-10T14:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, so it's like pouring buckets of rain here right now. Like we needed more rain! (deep sigh)

I was the nice friendly neighbor this weekend. I watched 3 kids that weren't mine (and are younger than mine) ~ 2 little boys while their dad moved stuff into his apartment yesterday afternoon and 1 little girl overnight while her mommy went out last night. It's harder watching younger ones when mine are pretty self-sufficient but I really don't mind. Though hearing Ms. Amy about a Million times can get nerve-racking, I'm sure if I need the parents to repay the favor for me, they will. Not that they have to. I'm just nice like that sometimes ~ but don't tell anyone. I prefer them to think I'm a self-centered, self-serving beotch. Not sure why I want people to think that, but at the moment, I do.

Let's see, what else have I been up to lately? Oh, I posted a personal ad on Yahoo the other night. (Stop laughing at me) I figured ~ What the Heck? ~ and yes, I've gotten replies/responses already and haven't even paid the $19.99 for the "service." (I probably won't either - SO THERE) Yahoo has so nicely found me a few "perfect matches" already too .. (You have 1-5 hearts to determine compatability with 5 hearts being "perfect") Wanna hear the ironic part? (Well, I'm going to tell you anyway) One of my "perfect 5-heart matches" is my EX! Who else but me would have that kind of luck? (rolls eyes) Anyway ~ I guess I'll have to see how this personal thing goes. Hopefully any potential "dates" won't mind me talking about them on here ... hmm, maybe I shoulda posted that in the Ad??

: : : : : Yahoo Personals - About Me : : : : : : : : : :
I should warn you that I have an online journal so don't be surprised or offended if you get talked about on it. If that's going to be a problem, you might want to keep searching because I talk about EVERYTHING on my Blog.
: : : : : : :

Ya think I'd get any responses if I add that paragraph?? Do I really care if honesty keeps people away?? (laughing) Uh No, I don't.

Well, I think I have written everything I can for the moment so I'm going to go see what kind of single men are out there WAITING TO MAKE THE CONNECTION (huge, devilish grin)

Buh bye

Happy 69th Birthday Daddy

2004-10-06T22:13:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Daddy. I can't really believe you've been gone 11 years now. There are still times where I have to remind myself that you're not here.

You know, like when I hear a noise in my car - you don't know how many times I have thought "Daddy will know what that is and how to fix it." Or when the mechanic is telling me something that I know is absolute Bull but they think they can get one over on me because I'm a girl. They don't know that you tried to teach me all the basics of cars when I was younger. Sure, I liked the FAST muscle cars and wanted to hear about engine sizes and such so I'd look cool with the boys .. but , me being a girl, I always said that I'd never need to know how to change oil/tires or care what that sound was coming from under the hood because some man would always take care of it for me. Yeah, I was right. Mechanics are mostly men but gawd what they charge! Luckily for me, I retained enough of what you taught me to not be a total idiot when it comes to cars.

Ya know, Tid has a 55 Chevy but it's no where near as cool as yours was. A few of the people I've met lately would kill to have half the cars/trucks you had in your lifetime. In Atlanta at the car show during the Drive-In Invasion, I saw so many of the cars you had .. and of course, I thought about you and what you'd be saying if you saw them.

Lately, there's been times when I listen to a new band and think that you'd really like them. Or wish that I woulda been interested in "your music" when you were here to share it with me without me complaining that it was "old fogey music." Right now, I'm sitting here listening to Hank Sr, Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline and have even listened to lots of Jimmie Rodgers. Of course, in your honor, before bed I'll listen to "I Like Beer" by Tom T. Hall and have a beer for you ...

I miss being able to run to you when my heart is broken or when someone hurts my feelings by saying I'm not good enough for this or that ... I don't miss that you weren't here to see me go through the abusive relationship that I was in. I know you would have tried to make it better someway, endangering yourself if need be because you're my Daddy and didn't want your little girl hurt. I'm out of it now and promise I'll be a lot smarter next time and not allow myself to get in that situation.

I wish you could be here to see your grandsons Daddy. You have 4 of them and a granddaughter somewhere. My 2 play sports - CJ plays baseball and Devon plays football. It'd be nice to have you at a game with me cheering them on, but I know that you are there with me, even though I can't see you. Devon is more like me when I was little and is forever playing with creepie crawlie things and doing anything he can to be outside playing. He's now my spider/frog/lizard chaser and seems to like that job. And keeping him out of trees is as impossible for me as it was for you to keep me out of them when I was his age. He has your sense of saying the funniest things that aren't really funny. One day when I told him to take out the trash, he looked at me with the most serious look on his face and told me "Momma, I think you had me just to take out your trash." (Remember the flashlight/marriage license incident where you were looking for the expiration date?? LOL - course, Momma didn't think it was funny as we did) CJ, well - he's into movies and video games and quite the little "player" with girlfriends all the time. They're both adorable and smart. Being here in Georgia with them was probably one of the best things I've done because they have so many more opportunities here than they would have had in West Virginia. We're not around the "family" except once a year but I guess in the end, moving here with them was better even though it means missing so much and so many people that we love.

I talked to Momma last night on the phone and she reminded me that today was your birthday. I didn't need her to remind me though. Every year since you've been gone - the week of your birthday and the week you died is the hardest on me and I get so moody. Even when I try to not think about it, it's still there, and I can't help but cry and miss you so much. You'd think that after all this time, it'd get easier but it hasn't. Some have told me to get over it and move on .. but, they haven't lost their daddy ... not had to watch someone they love so much die that way ... knowing that all you can do is be there to let you know I loved you and help your pain the best I could. I wouldn't trade one minute that I was there but I wish sometimes that I could have done something to make you not hurt so much. To make you still be here. But I know that it was your time and you're in a better place now - with all your friends that went before & after you ...

I got to hear you tell me you were proud of me. I got to know that you counted on me to take care of things when you were gone and I hope that I did a good enough job for you. That was a big responsibility and very hard - losing you and dealing with the arrangements. But you, being the "protector" that you were, you would not die until we were out of the room and it was just you and Momma. Hearing her scream when you left was the worst sound I have ever heard in my life and I hope I never, ever have to hear that again. You and her being married that long is still the thing I hope that one day, I will find. You and her had unconditional love that nothing tore apart even though it wasn't always easy.

You know, I see Dad's today that shirk their responsibilities and it makes me sick. You were always there for me in your own way. You weren't the mushy type but I always knew you loved me and were going to be there if I needed you. You never really got mad at me for much. I remember 3 times in my whole life you punished me, though I deserved many more. You had little but made sure that we were all taken care of. I only hope that when CJ & Devon are older that they can think as highly of me as I do of you.

Because of your illness, I got to say my goodbyes and all the things I needed to say. I got to hear the most important things too but I still miss you. I'm not sure when or if there will ever be a time that I don't miss you. You taught me some of the most important things in life that I needed to know to make it on my own ... you taught me that no matter how hard things get, you don't give up ... you taught me to be there for the people that needs me and to be able to forgive/forget and to say you're sorry when you're wrong. You taught me that the ones we love aren't perfect - but that loving them is a gift and to accept them as they are.

I have turned out to be a stubborn person that has been knocked on my ass many, many times since you've been gone but I always get up, dust my ass off and try again. I can take care of myself though I do get lonely at times. I have been hurt but don't hold that against people. I've been done wrong (and yes, I've even done wrong) but, through it all ... I'm here ... doing the best that I can and pretty much happy with who I have turned out to be ... Maybe one day, I'll find someone that will be happy with me for who I am and not run at the first sign of a problem and give up and take the easy road out. If not, oh well, their loss, right?

I'm not perfect Daddy. I never will be. I drink too much at times ... I smoke too much .. I say what I think sometimes without thinking ... but I work hard every day at a job I taught myself how to do, I provide for myself and I take care of my sons and they know that I love them more than life itself. The friends that I have know that I will be there for them in any way that I can. What more can I ask for?

I just hope that you're up there looking down at me, still proud of your Mimi ... your silly lil Mamie Nae that threw wax balls and climbed trees and wanted the fastest cars, you thinking (and making it known, lol) that she was too good for the boys in the neighborhood...

I know Forever, Amen was your song to Momma .. and I can't hear it without remembering you ... but, I hope that you know ... that no matter how long you've been gone .. I'll always miss you and love you very much ...

and I'll always be your Mimi ....

Happy Birthday Daddy .. I love you ...

2004-10-06T22:11:00.000-04:00

Daddy @ Moose Picnic - July 1991

2004-10-06T22:10:00.000-04:00

Daddy & Amy - 1972

Not Gonna Blog Much!

2004-10-06T01:55:00.000-04:00

I don't wanna blog tonight! I HATE that song "ONLY ONE" by Yellowcard .. it totally sucks ass! And it won't stop playing in my head! Someone make it STOP!!!!

I don't want anyone to see through me or stop loving me and find someone else ... I want them to make me their "only one" but I don't think that is a possibility ... all they see me for is a "LUST" thing and I HATE it .. .

I Wanna SCREAM at the TOP O MY LUNGS ... I don't want this loneliness .. don't wanna feel like I have to be alone ... I HATE IT ...

Don't wanna feel like I am too good .. like I am too silly ... too flirty ... too ... AMY to be loved for me ... I want someone to FIND me .. and Be HAPPY with me ...

My Momma and I talked tonight on the phone .. I miss her .. she's doing good but the shunts are still a problem ... but as always, she is worried about me being here in Georgia all alone ... I wanna do something to make her smile ... to make her proud of me .. she says she is .. but .... she reminded me of the concerts she took me to when I was little and I hated it ... Stonewall Jackson, Hank Jr., Lil Jimmy Dickens, Bill Anderson ... all the greats of Country ... she misses me .. she worries about me ... she's my momma and I love her ... and she's too far away for me to hug and tell her how much I love and miss her ... and how much I worry about her ....

Why did I decide to stay here again?? I forget at times like this ... when I am all alone .. needing a hug from someone that loves & cares 2 shits about me ... my sons are here and will have a better life ... but ... everyone that loves me is in WV ... 767 miles from me ... all my friends that care, my family .. all of them .. I am the only one that ever left ... and I miss them ... I come from a big family .. there's 11 aunts/uncles ... more cousins than you can count .. all my friends that I grew up with that I email .... but, they are there, I am here ....

There's got to be a reason that I stayed here besides my sons, but ... I can't seem to remember it right now ... yes, they are the most important thing in my life and maybe deep down, they are the only reason I chose to stay here .. but right now, these empty feelings make it hard to remember that I would gladly give my life for my son's smiles ... for them to have a better opporunity than I ever had .. but .. .when they aren't here .. it is hard to remember why I let myself be cut off from the people that love me to live a life alone .. feeling so unloved ..

I want my momma .. someone to hold me for a minute and tell me it's all gonna be ok ... that I can make it alone ... my sister to tell me that she needs me to fix something .. something so I don't dwell on all this other stuff that makes me sad.

My Momma is worried because my stupid sugar levels keep dropping and I can't keep them up .. . My Doctor says it's stress .. but, I can't change my life and the stress levels ... I'm on the verge of needing stupid medicine intervention if I can't manage them .. I don't want that ... I mean shit, I can't find a man to love me for me .. let alone to love me with a stupid medical condition .... Can you imagine that 1st date?? LOL .. well, my doctor says if my sugar levels drop below ___, I have to have a shot of glucose ... like there are many out there that could handle doing that, huh? Yeah, tons that wouldn't mind giving someone shot in the ass or thigh ...

I'm rambling right now because ... well, I don't know why ... I am sure tomorrrow, I'll make myself find a reason to smile, I always do ... but some days, it gets hard for me ... I try to always be the optimistic person my friends think that I am .. but in reality, it's a battle for me at times to find a reason to smile when things are so gloomy ...

With that, I think I am gonna go find Ted E and curl up in my bed and pray that I dream sweet dreams tonight .. and I hope that you all do too ...

What does your birth month reveal about you?

2004-10-04T23:22:00.000-04:00

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

March
Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented.Loves special things. Moody.

Ok, so I got this quiz off Chuckie's blog (he always has the coolest quizzes that I always have to take and post on my blog) The results are kinda really close to who I am - well, I don't really think I am revengeful (except where doorbell-ringing neighbors are concerned) but, it's also dead-on to a few other's personalities that I know so, I guess it's not a bad thing.

Let's see, other than telling you I had a busy but good day at work today and that I was able to work on my friend's pc (who took me to dinner for doing so, THANK YOU WILLIAM) I don't have anything else to say so I'll close for now and go to bed ...

If you read this, take the quiz yourself and let me know your results.

Sweet Dreams ...

2004-10-03T21:09:00.000-04:00

Inside Deja Groove - Me, Shelly, ?, Jamie, and Henry (in the striped shirt) - Henry is my bigbro friend and made sure that I had a great time - just like he did when we were roomies. Awww, he's still my bestest guy friend and always will be.

It's Friday, I'm Alone & I'm BORED!!

2004-10-01T22:20:00.000-04:00

Ok, so this is one of the rare weekends that I don't have the boys and I'm sitting alone on a Friday night bored! Ordinarily I might venture out solo but with the rapist still at large, I'm too chicken to do that. Hell, I didn't even go to Wal-Mart to get ammo that I was supposed to for tomorrow alone because they think he might be stalking women from there!

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

I'm supposed to get ammo because Tid is taking me to the shooting range in the morning to practice hitting targets but he said he already had some so hopefully, he'll just let me pay him for them even though he said he'd get it later (He's already being nice enough to teach me NRA Pistol Safety so I don't want to feel like I am taking advantage of him because he's supplying everything too)

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

Wanna know something else that is strange?? (Ok, well, I'm gonna tell you anyway - KMA) I don't even feel like drinking tonight. Yes, I have beer here ... no kids ... no work in the morning (though Tid wants to hit the range early) and I don't feel like drinking. Wonder what's up with that one??? LOL!

I just realized that I hadn't blogged this week at all since Sunday. Let's see, what have I been doing?

Sunday night - I watched a movie with Andrew (it was pretty cool) and ate cold fried chicken & cupcakes that I made preparing for the hurricane that never showed itself much besides some rain and wind.

Monday night - I got DRUNK! (finished off the cold chicken) aggravated neighbor because I CAN! :D (Ain't gonna tell ya how I did it either)

Tuesday night - Went over to fix my friend Super Dave's pc so that he could get online. (Took a while but yes, I was able to get it to work)

Wednesday night - I got DRUNKER than I did on Monday night. Ended up eating a whole bag of beef jerky along with the 12-pack of Bud Light I polished off ... (had a bad day, don't wanna get into it)

Thursday night - Went to watch my son play football. He plays offense & defense (Right End/Tight End) and looks totally adorable in his lil pads and uniform.

That brings us back to tonight - FRIDAY - ALONE, BORED, SCARED TO VENTURE OUT ALONE. Did I mention I'm bored?!?!? WELL, I AM!!!!!!

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to shooting range.

Tomorrow night, I have an offer to go out with a few friends, there's also something happening in Atlanta .. not sure what, if anything, I'll do because 1 - still worried about rapist ..... 2 - much as I hate to admit it, don't like doing a lot alone .. I swear, being single sucks the mostest!!!!

Ok, I think I have significantly bored the shit out of anyone that reads this .... with that, I am going to go sort through pictures for my scrapbook and maybe go to bed before 11 ...

WOO HOO ~ quite the partier, aren't I???

: : : : : Eat Shit & Die Look on Face : : : : : See ya'll later ...

2004-10-01T20:22:00.000-04:00

CJ's 1st Baseball Scrimmage. Here, he's waiting to bat. This is his first year playing baseball (he's played football-defense, the last 2 yrs). I don't care if he wins or hits home runs all the time, as long as he has fun playing the game. In the end, isn't that what really matters?
I tried re-posting this adding the heading to it, but for some reason, my blog is being a pain in my ass .. so, this pic shoulda been listed before Devon's football pics, but oh well .. it's here now :P

Devon's 1st Football Game

2004-10-01T20:09:00.000-04:00

"Taking a Knee" when he switched from playing offense & defense to just playing defense.

Devon's 1st Football Game

2004-10-01T20:06:00.000-04:00

Isn't he adorable?

Reflecting on Relationships

2004-09-26T13:05:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I'm sitting here waiting to see what/if any effects our area gets from the latest hurricane and decided to clean some of the papers off my desk (dang, where did all this shit come from??). I stumbled onto a scribbled note I made about a topic I wanted to post on my blog. So, since I have nothing else to write about at the moment, HERE GOES!

First, I'm gonna quote an Old Wives Tale - "If you buy shoes for a woman, she'll walk right out of your life."

Not sure why I felt the need to start off with that quote - but, it's my blog and I can do what I want So THERE!

Now with that said, I'll start my journal entry.

You see, the significance of that quote to me is this - I have been thinking about my relationships that have failed and figured out a few similarities in each of them. So Bear with me as I list some of them for you.

1st Similarity?? If a guy I am seeing buys me a T-shirt - I end up with the T-shirt and not the guy. (In some cases, this is a blessing) So, new rule??? Don't buy me any t-shirts. While I do appreciate the thought, I can buy my own and don't want to put on a t-shirt and remember where it came from if it came from a failed relationship. Throwing the t-shirts away in some cases might be the answer - but some of them are pretty cool & comfy so I keep them - so from now on, I'll just buy my own and not have that problem.

2nd Similarity? Big, muscle bound guys (all with hidden tatts) that are Military or Ex-Military. So, I dig men in uniform but seem to pick the wrong ones. (this is not the case with my ex-hubby who I was with for 10 years and have 2 beautiful sons by - he is not the typical "type" I fall for though .. hmm)

3rd Similarity? They like fast cars, bikes/4-wheelers, guns, redheads, have an azz fetish, and listen to just about any music there is. (This isn't a bad thing because I like those things too, have red hair, and they have all turned me on to bands that I otherwise wouldn't have heard)

4th Similarity? If they seem to like me more than I do them at first, they don't last. And, once they have uttered that "L" word, shit changes .. usually for the worst. (I am beginning to think that these men have LOVE confused with LUST. Love Lasts .. Lust doesn't. So maybe I need to clarify that with any future prospects??)

5th Similarity? Can't remember any of them that really liked MY FRIENDS! Have on occasion ditched friends to keep guy - not anymore. Friends last longer than men do, so either deal with my friends .. or I can show ya the door.

6th Similarity?? All of them have "ISSUES" with their family members. (Shoulda been a dead giveaway to run like hell in the opposite direction as fast as I could instead of either trying to be understanding, sympathetic or helpful.) Reality check here - EVERYONE has an issue with someone in their family. If we liked everyone we were related to, it just wouldn't be life. We all know that we can't pick our relatives, so get over your issues!

7th Similarity? They're all divorced and have "issues" stemming from the divorce. Either she cheated, he cheated because she did this/that, or something along those lines. This is hard for me to relate to because I am good friends with my ex mainly because of the kids. We grew in different directions and while we don't always agree, I don't hate him or say he's evil. I mean, really .. if you loved them at one time - how can they be totally evil?? It reflects poorly on you if all you can do is say negative things about the other person. I mean, you picked them, right?? So, what does it say about you if all you can say is negative things about the person you once loved?

I think that about sums up the similarity issue. Not really sure what writing about them did other than made a visual for me to fall back on in the event I decide to date again so I can remember things about the ones that didn't work ... not even sure if I can/should change the "type" guys that I am attracted to just learn to see the "signs" earlier and run when I see them, lol.

I'm mainly just sitting here bored and rambling. But, I am realizing one important thing ... Being in relationships is hard and takes work, no matter what kind of relationship it is. Kids, Friends, Lovers ... the only thing that doesn't take work is having a "booty call" because with them, you don't have to deal with their idiosyncrasies. You just call them up when you are in need, they come, fill the need, and then you show them to the door - No DRAMA Involved. How easy is that??

Yeah, that would be a pretty cool life I suppose. But, then society would frown upon you for having "meaningless sex" and you'd never have someone to cuddle with when it rained or grow old with ... but .. there's NO DRAMA ... No Feelings Involved to get hurt ... hmmm, tough one here ....

Lemme think about this one for a while :)

2004-09-25T13:01:00.000-04:00

CJ's 1st Scrimmage.

My Monsters, not too scarey, huh?

2004-09-24T23:01:00.000-04:00

Ok - so I'm thinking that the fear of the rapist has zapped me of my creativity and made my "monsters" look too cute but since I have to have them in California by October 1st, these will have to do. The white one with red skirt is a Zombie chic, the others are just voodoo doll thingys and the blue blob thing has vampire teeth, but you can't see them in this pic ~ that's about as scarey as I can muster right now. Sorry!

Course, if they want a real "MONSTER," I can try to make a model/voodoo doll from the sketch of the rapist - he's a helluva lot more scarey than anything I've ever seen in a horror movie that's for sure!!

The boys crashed on the couch watching "Scooby Doo 2" and they look totally adorable. (Yes, I have a biased opinion, I'm their Momma, I'm supposed to) CJ's got baseball practice tomorrow from 10-2 so, of course, I'll take pictures and post so you can see how cute he looks in his uniform ...

Dayum, I just read what I have typed so far and I don't think I'm making much sense ~ not that I usually do but tonight seems worse than normal. Oh well ... I tried.

I am totally exhausted right now and am going to carry myself in and try to sleep tonight some ... hope anyone that reads this has sweet dreams. Night.

Ok Ya'll ~ I'm Officially Scared Now!

2004-09-23T12:20:00.000-04:00

I hate being scared! I really, really do. But I have a good reason to be terrified at the moment. The rapist has been in our apartment complex a few times tonight already. We've had the police here because of all the sightings. They aren't saying much just that he's getting more aggressive and that we need to be careful. I live on the bottom floor apt with bushes by doors. Our nice police neighbor is out of town for the weekend so it seems like the rapist has been watching for this because he hasn't come near while the officer was here.

I was so scared, I even called Tid even though I didn't want to bother him. I must've woke him up because he didn't seem too friendly or concerned. I think he thinks I am over-reacting, but, who wouldn't be scared with a rapist in their apartment complex when they lived alone?? I mean yes, as he said on the phone, he has given me the tools to protect/defend myself but I mentioned that it's having the ability to be able to use what he is teaching me when/if I have to (WHICH I HOPE I NEVER DO) that's the hard part.

Oooohh! That makes me sooo dayum mad about some men. (really angry face) I mean what? I'm good enough to have sex with, hang out with, to teach safety and loan a gun to but not good enough to show compassion to when I am terrified because there's a SERIAL RAPIST prowling where I live???

Ok, so I got off topic there maybe a little but dammit - calling him wasn't easy. I don't want to admit I am scared, especially not to someone that dumped me like he did and kept me confused for weeks afterward. I mean, I don't get it .. how can you love someone and be happy with them, dump them so they don't dump/hurt you and then act like you could care less that they are scared that a rapist is nearby??? FUK! I don't get it!

Back to the rapist thingy ~ poor Brit is as terrified as I am and we're sitting here talking in instant messages because we know going outside isn't safe. I'm single and her hubby is army and gone a good bit at times. Both of us hate that we lost the piece of mind we had living here because of this. Both of us live on the bottom floors too ... which is not making it any easier. Shit, both of us have mentioned moving at least once tonight, even though we know that this could happen anywhere, Shit, it did here! At least we have each other looking out for the other, huh??

Well, I got to try to sleep tonight ~ though I doubt that is possible with all this and the boys will be here tomorrow and I gotta be strong for them and not let them worry about their Momma ~

Ya'll have a good night & Sweet Dreams ... and hey, could ya send me some strength, courage and prayers?

Wow - is it Thursday already?

2004-09-23T07:50:00.000-04:00

Geesh, this week has flown by. Of course, I haven't had time to write in my journal because I've been pre-occupied about personal safety of myself and my neighbors and just hanging out with them until time for bed. I also helped my new neighbor hook up her Cable internet so now, when we're not outside/at each other's house talking, all 3 of us can talk on the net to each other - yes, I know - we're strange - get over it!

Ok, so you're probably asking yourself why would she be pre-occupied with personal safety all of a sudden? Well, there was a rape on Saturday at the apartment complex across the street from where I live. And being a single female (neighbors are too) it kinda has a tendency to make you worry and be a little scared. (By the way, being scared is the worst feeling in the world I think)

The 3 of us that live here have adopted the buddy system when it's dark and make sure we're not alone outside, which is a start. I have also gotten Tid to start teaching me handgun safety and think that buying a handgun may help with the SCARED feeling living alone with a rapist on the loose tends to give you. I had my first lesson last night and he's a pretty good teacher (and it's amazing what he knows about guns and safety) He gave me a few things to carry with me for safety and I have a booklet to look over until my next lesson. Oh, he's a NRA certified instructor so yes, he is qualified to teach me.

This is a big step for me because I never wanted a gun in the house, especially with the boys. I mean, I've shot them before (long time ago) and I've shot rifles/shotguns for skeet and such .. but, shooting at a target for fun is a little different than figuring out how to use one to protect someone you care about (or yourself) when you have to. Course, being a single female, I also have to learn how to clean them unless I want to be relying on a guy to do that for me ... which, at this point, I don't!

Devon's first football game is next Thursday, providing we don't get more rain to soak the fields - I am sooo excited, I can't wait .... CJ should have a Baseball game within the next 2 weeks - he's never played before so I am really looking forward to that one too.

Lemme see .. what else is new with me??? I still haven't finished my zombie dolls yet but will do so by the weekend because they have to be in California by the 1st. I also got a bunch of pictures developed to finally work on my scrapbook again. There doesn't seem to be any bands playing at the Jinx in the coming weeks that I want to see so I guess I'll hang here at the house for a while until something fun comes up and work on projects I have long neglected.

I'm still single and although I jokingly tell people that if I had a Big Ole Boyfriend in my life, I wouldn't have to worry about personal safety so much - we all know that with the DRAMA that men tend to put me through, it's best that I can take care of myself and not need them for anything since they seem to be pretty unreliable. I'm sorry if that sounds mean and all .. but, oh well ... I'm slowly learning how to be just friends with Tid and hope that if and when I decide to date again, I'll luck out and not make the same mistakes that I have been.

On that note, I really must drag my lil azz to the shower and get ready for work. Ya'll have a great day and I'll talk to you soon ....

Water Moccasin Blues!

2004-09-19T21:13:00.000-04:00

Ok, so yesterday I laughed and told you all about Brit's ratsnake on her patio ... well, that'll teach me to laugh at others!

This morning at 10 - just getting in from the night watching Rocket 350 & The Defilers, I hear my sons telling me that there's this cute lil baby snake with stripes on it by MY FRONT DOOR!!!!!

Hearing the word "cute lil baby snake" didn't bother me so much - it was the "Stripes on it" that did it. (Since moving to the SE with 2 little boys, I have gotten to be quite the pro at determining poisonous critters)

So, I go over to see what my lil nature lovers are admiring - and my suspicions were correct - it was a 18 inch long WATER MOCCASIN! A quick call to maintainence to get it GONE turned out to be over a 2 hour laugh fest, at my expense!

You see, the nice maintainence man had him in those lil pincher things - but his thumb hurt so HE DROPPED It and it slithered into the bushes by my patio (2 feet from my front door) The bushes now look rather shabby since he, myself and Brit poked and prodded at them trying to find the lil sucker.

All the while, I'm trying to keep my sons in the house safe while all they wanna do is See it again (the older one cannot understand why he can't have it as a pet)

My new upstairs neighbor is also watching us safely and laughing from her balcony, but she later comes down to see if she can help locate it. Doesn't help that Mr MAN thinks it's funny to continually act like he's grabbing at the snake at my feet. :angry:

So, finally - after 2 hours in the sun, we all decided he is probably underground somewhere and just dump SnakeAway (which, by the way, stinks because it is made from moth balls so now my whole apt smells like a granny's closet)

Now, I still have a snake in my bushes - and will most likely be the one to find it when I am not remembering that he has taken up residence there -

Anyone got a Water Mocassin Anti-Venom kit??? :(

Incidentally - the Show was AWESOME and I took some cool pics that I'll post tomorrow or the next day - tonight, I'm exhausted from last night & today's snake adventure so I'm going to head to bed ....

Sweet Dreams!

Brit's Gonna Kill Me For This One!

2004-09-18T15:10:00.000-04:00

Well, after I posted the blog this morning, my phone rings. It's Brit and I am sure she's going to ask me why I'm not ready to leave yet.

NOPE!!!

It turns out, that she is trapped by a snake on her patio while she is trying to smoke. She didn't know the number to maintainence so she called me to give it to her. I woulda gone to her rescue immediately but without any weapons and trying to keep CJ & Devon safely in the house - all I can do is give her the number and hurry to get dressed to go check on her. (After he kills it, he finds out it was a rat snake but we've had a lot of Water Mocassins - so any snake they see, ends up dead - which is ok by me) Luckily, John, her big ole hubby who is more terrified of snakes that she & I both are isn't here right now .. lol!!!

We went to Wal*Mart and of course, I spent way more than I had planned on but oh well - it's only money. Now it's time for me to take a nap - then get up, finish laundry, do my hair, make zombies and shit to get ready for tonight.

I'll be back!

Yeah! The sun is shining!

2004-09-18T10:24:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I didn't blog yesterday! Seems that my mind was a little too preoccupied to get up the energy to write anything that made sense since work's been really hectic lately. We have tons of stuff going on but it makes the time there fly and will pay off in the end. Besides that, Brit and Karrissa came back from Maryland (bout dayum time because I missed them being right across the breezeway the last 3 weeks) so I helped her unload the car and hung out with them until I had toothpicks under my eyes. I actually went to bed before midnight - hmm, I guess miracles do happen, lol! I'm supposed to be getting myself and the boys ready to go with Brit to the post office and Wal*Mart (so don't tell her that I'm sittin here blogging instead) I gotta go get some stuff to wash the gray outta my hair (hee hee) and some food for these starving little boys I have. Tonight, I am supposed to be heading to the JINX to see Rocket 350 and the Defilers ... yippee!!! FUN!!! Maybe I'll get on here a blog a bit if I find something of interest before I head out. But, no promises though since I still have to make 3 zombies and do my hair, and shower, and shave, and feed the kids, and Well, you get the point. Have a great day ya'll ... I'll be back soon!

Me & My "Monsters"

2004-09-16T00:47:00.000-04:00

Ok, so here's me and my "MONSTERS" .. not sure if they are scarey enough to be "monsters" and shit but I did make them without patterns (used just my imagination and stitching skills) but, hey, I'm new at this so cut me some slack ... I've got a zombie chic in plaid skirt & black tank, a bat, a ghost with a tie and an alien with purple hair ... lemme know what you think if ya want .. either way, I gotta have them in the mail by October 1st so ... I guess I need to decide if they're good enough or if I need to start over ... UGH!!!

Work today was kinda SLAMMED but it's good that way, time flies. Someone from the HRW board had this cool ass kitten pic with knife & lil gun that is now prominently displayed in a few cubbies (mine included) and sums up how some of us feel ... the rest just got a good chuckle out of it and forwarded it to others for their enjoyment .. isn't EMAIL great for that? I'd like to sic that lil kitten on someone in particular but am still considering paying $50 to an outrageous co-worker to pee on her desk for my last day there so ... it's still up in the air .. (grinning)

Ok well .. I think that's all I can think of to write for tonight .. gotta go sleep ALONE again (frowning) but oh well, I'm gettin used to it again so it's all good .. and to quote someone near and dear to me, "I'll Live."

Sweet dreams ...

Ooohhh Monsters!!!

2004-09-14T21:10:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I had a pretty boring day today at the office. I came home, ate a good dinner, went through tons of emails and now, I am sitting here working on my Monsters for the MONSTER SWAP. It's gonna be a lil tough for me because I am used to stitching things like Angels, Santas, Unicorns, pets, sports, etc ... but, I do love to see how far I can stretch my creativity so I'm excited to see if I can turn the Monster I am currently making into the Monster I envison in my mind .. wish me luck!!

Ugh, I feel like Rip VanWinkle!

2004-09-13T22:21:00.000-04:00

I've been asleep off and on all day and still feel drained and tired. Not really sure what it is - just know that for me to sleep this much and still feel tired, something is messed up! Oh well. Maybe it's just that my batteries need recharged .. or that now that most of the stress in my life has been slowly winding down and being resolved, I just need to sleep off the fatigue since dealing with it all alone drained me at times ...

Hanging out with Tid Saturday night was a good thing, even though we're still broke up. Don't ask for an explanation because I don't have one. I just get a kinda strange sort of comfort sleeping in his arms that I can't explain and that because of it, has helped with the ability to sleep really well and for a really long time. It was especially cool because I got to see the Rounders. This weekend Rocket 350 and The Defilers will be at the Jinx and I fully plan on being there ... I can't wait.

Oh shit, I'm rambling and not making much sense at the moment but felt the need to write something on here ...

I'm going to go back to bed now .. hope ya'll have sweet dreams.

ABK meets The Rounders

2004-09-12T11:55:00.000-04:00

So, I went to see The Rounders last night. Those guys are awesome! They introduced themselves to me on the street as I was arriving at the Jinx and put on a helluva show. Even with encores, the crowd (me included) still wanted more. Here's a link to some pics I took if ya wanna see -
ABK's Rounders Album.

Well, that's all I'm gonna write for the moment, gonna get up off my azz and clean up some and maybe take a nap!

Heading to the Jinx

2004-09-11T21:08:00.000-04:00

Ok, so today was kinda boring! CJ's baseball practice got cancelled because of the soggy ground caused by Frances! I cleaned some, did laundry, read "The Book of Shadows," sat here on my butt in front of the pc, met my new neighbors, listened to mp3's and added some new tunes by FLOGGING MOLLY(a kick azz Irish group), cooked an awesome dinner for me & the boys, ran to Food Lion, ... and took a long hot soak in the tub. (FINALLY, and it FELT SOOOOO GOOD after 2 weeks without one) Now, I am sitting here for a few minutes relaxing before I get dressed to head to The Jinx to see The Rounders and Whiskey Dick.

It'll be after 3am by the time I get the boys from the sitter and settled down for the night so I don't think you'll be hearing much, if anything else, out of me for the rest of the night. (I know, I know - it's gonna be hard, but You'll Live ... I promise, lol)

I'm gonna take my camera with me and try to take a few pictures to post but can't make any promises since it's always pretty dark in The Jinx ...

So, Until tomorrow ~ May Angels watch over you all and may you have the Sweetest Dreams possible.

What "Lord Of The Rings" Character are you?

2004-09-10T22:48:00.000-04:00

Oh My, I took this quiz and it turns out, I am like the coolest CHIC from the LOTR trilogy. (started sweating at first thinking I was gonna be Gollum or Mary, lol) She has the HERO as a lover, is beautiful, immortal and the actress that plays her has one of the legends of Rock as a Dad!!!

HERE'S MY RESULTS:
You are most like Arwen. Calm and reserved, you are not given to sudden outbursts. You conduct yourself with dignity...most of the time. The rest of the time you cut loose are are totally cool. You don't really think of yourself as popular, but plenty of people like you. You are not given to needless flirting. The right person will come along some day, and you are content to wait.

Ok, ok, I admit it. I guess I do flirt a lot at times (I'm still a firm believer in being 100% faithful to the one I am with, if I am with someone, even if I am out going, which, at the moment, I guess I'm single so the faithful part doesn't apply anymore) ::: sighs ::::: but the rest of it kinda sums up who I am ....

Go Take it for yourself .... What LoTR Character Are You? ... and lemme know which one you are.

Oh, and for those of you that have no clue who the characters are or just wanna read more about the trilogy, go visit this site Lord Of The Rings and you can find all the info you need about the LOTR trilogy!

INCIDENTALLY - I changed the song on here tonight to one that more suits me - Staind ~ "So Far Away" (it actually reflects me at the moment so deal with it) I wish I could put the songs I listen to on my WinMedia - The Rounders, Gravy Boat, The Bottle Babies, Jimmy and the Teasers, Patsy, Johnny Cash, Straight 8's (to name a few) .. but, unfortunately, the music I post has to be a URL and I can't figure out how to turn the songs I listen to into them yet .. and the site that I get my stuff from now hasn't responded to my request ... so, if any of you out there reading this knows how to change mp3's into URL's, I'd really appreciate it if you told me how to do it ...

ABK Wears Glasses? No Way?!?!

2004-09-09T23:08:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I'm sitting here doing what I do best sometimes when I am bored - cammin & drinking, seeing how much havoc I can wreak in the Yahoo Georgia Romance 8 chat room - (under a screen name that is not known to most of my blog reading friends) (oh, and I am being told that I smoke & drink too much - GET OVER IT) and I am wearing my glasses because, once again, I have gone way past the 14 days that I am "allowed" to wear my contacts and they are bugging the shit outta me - so, I have to take them out or do the perputual eyes watering, blurry vision thing. I decided that taking them out would be the better option ...

I realize that not many people even know I wear glasses, let alone have they seen me in them - well, except for tonight on my cam - so I decided that as part of my post for the day, I'd add a pic of me wearing the dreaded things. (If any of you leave a comment that I look like a librarian, I am gonna kick your azz, lol)

Anyways, I am sittin here with my new music from the Invasion qued up in a playlist on my WinMedia - ya know, the good stuff - Jimmy and the Teasers, Gravy Boat, The Rounders (they weren't there but Tid made me a CD and has had me listening to it in the Millenium LoriRocks Tidmobile when we're out together) and of course, I got Patsy, Johnny, Nickleback and Nazareth and this new group I heard about "The Bottle Babies" in that mix because, well .. because I like it , get the heck over it. (Oh, he also had me listening to this KICKASS Irish band driving all over Atlanta but I don't know the name so I can't even find the CD info - TID - Help me out here!!) (Ok, so I'm assuming he reads my Blog and might actually answer and help me out - because gosh knows he doesn't ever answer my emails ... but the Atlanta thing - well, we aren't gonna go there)

I tried to change my song tonight, tired of the dayum GNR song (I know ya'll are too) but I can't find a new one that I like .... UGH ... so, I decided to email the URL creator and ask him to please help me put new tuneage on my blog ... (keep your fingers crossed that he does it for me)

Ok, so where was I before I started the rampage about music?? Shit, I don't remember ... I am listening to Rehab - Sittin in a Bar - (kinda appropriate, don't ya think) downing a few Bud Lights here (wonder if they'll give me free beer for mentioning them as much as I do? It's worth a shot, huh?) .. and am totally losing my train of thought - Go figure!!! LOL.

Work was busy today, I was in a 2hr meeting .. confidential so I can't tell you what it was about. Then, I had a Motion to format for boss' signature and filing tomorrow .... had a few other things that I had to do for the boss ... and then, I ducked outta work early (I don't turn in overtime even though I can. I just leave early - hey, it works for me - extra money or time to goof off, which would you choose?)

So, now I am sitting here - with a killer buzz going on - thankful because tonight, MAYBE, for the first time this week, I'll get more than an hour's sleep ... I tell ya ... being single, sleeping with a Teddy Bear sucks sometimes .. but hey, I'll Live - Right? Sleep deprivation thankfully has not affected my work - but it has made me hate waking up alone even more ... and made me madder at a certain person for playing the tremendous mind games that he has been ... and yes, madder at myself for letting him do it to me AGAIN!

Fuk - where was I again?? Shit - I dunno - my train of thought keeps going out the window (Ya think it is too many Bud Lights?? NOPE - just intelligence at work, lol!)

On that note - hold on, I need another beer ...........................

I'm Back, Miss Me? (of course you did, lol)

Let's see, that makes 6 Bud Lights ( no dinner for me tonight because I didn't wanna cook/eat alone again) and I am still losing my train of thought every second or so .. but, I am thinking that not many are gonna read my post except me so, it's all good ....

Well, I suppose that's enough Blogging tonight for me ... I don't know what else to tell ya'll anyways... and, it's gettin chilly in here (hmm, wonder why? LOL) and well, shit, I am detting grunk ... lemme go see what's going on in the chat and in the 2 HeavyRebel Boards I am a member of ... and then, it's gonna be off to dream (ok, it's off to pass out) with Ted E. and wake up tomorrow for another day in the life of AngelBearKiss ... aka ABK Rulz .. aka Amy ....

Dayum ... am I that boring?? LOL ... Kisses .. See Ya'll tomorrow ....

Morning Ya'll - Frances & Invasion Aftermath!

2004-09-08T08:08:00.000-04:00

It's another dreary day here in the Hill thanks to stupid Frances! Yesterday, on the way to work my driver side wiper decided to break ~no problem, quickly ran by Wal-Mart and had a nice lil mechanic guy put new ones on for me. End of problem? Hell NO! Get back out on 95 and try to turn wipers on again ~ NOTHING! Get to work parking lot - BellSouth truck is in my spot and thinks it's kinda comical that my wipers are giving me a fit. (Did you check the fuse? NO! So I try to check it and can't get the dayum thing out) Go inside - it's a typical Monday - only it's TUESDAY and boss has been very busy while I was in Atlanta partying, oh well! Email Tid about the wiper situation - he suggested I check the fuse too! (Dangit, why is it that men know all this stuff and I don't?) Ok, so I'm leaving work and have B come with me to help me pull the fuse out that seems to be glued into place somehow! Put it back and POOF! Wipers work. (Keep your fingers crossed since it's raining AGAIN today)

Last night, I didn't post on this blog because I was busy posting band links and all on ABK Rulz like I said I would. Having problems posting a few songs but still working on it so I should have it all done this evening. Check it out if ya'll get a chance and lemme know what you think.

Second night in a row that I have not been able to SLEEP! Between the tossing and turning, winds & rain - I have managed to get 2 hours sleep both nights and the deprivation is gonna kill me! Slept great all weekend in Atlanta - course Tid was holding me and I was pretty intoxicated but still .... better luck tonight I suppose

I'm eagerly anticipating Rocket 350 & The Defilers coming to the Jinx on the 18th. I Can't Wait! I got a cool azz outfit in Atlanta at Psycho Sisters (Pink Pleated Mini) unfortunately? the leopard print bustier is too small for my boobs so I'll just end up wearing my Rocket 350 tshirt! No Biggie - not going to impress anyone anyways. (Still too busy being totally confused by HIM to worry about any other men right now)

Well, it's time for me to drag my azz to the shower, much as I detest the thought! Hope ya'll have a great day.

Chilling After Drive-In Invasion

2004-09-06T22:47:00.000-04:00

Ok, so we got back from Atlanta about 2. I spent most of the day downloading/naming pics that I took and posting them on the HRW Chat Boards and making an online album (that I added over on my links) so ya'll can see them if ya want. Now, I'm just chilling here in my lil Gravy Boat Tshirt, wearing my chrome lug nut with pink stone ring that I bought from Ms. Metal, nursing wounds & battle scars from the weekend that I spent partying my azz off at the Drive-In Invasion. Don't worry, I'll give you a full recap sometime this week! Geesh! Bear With Me! I'm wore out dammit!!!

Tid & I

2004-09-06T22:20:00.000-04:00

Tid & I ~ we went to the Invasion together! He rented us this cozy little hotel room @ The Highland Inn (Room 228, to be exact) in Atlanta and was sweet enough to look out for my drunk lil azz all weekend. What a SAINT!

Rocket 350

2004-09-06T22:19:00.000-04:00

Rocket 350 - What can I say other than if you get a chance to listen to these guys Rock - take it! They put on an awesome show and even invited the audience to participate - how cool is that?

Suzanne, Tid & Brad

2004-09-06T22:17:00.000-04:00

This is Suzanne, Tid & Brad - hanging out by the Cool Azz Cars on Saturday. Partying with these guys made the Invasion that much Cooler!!!

Joe Bob Briggs

2004-09-06T22:11:00.000-04:00

Joe Bob Briggs Hosted the Drive-In Invasion and is really nice in person! (He must be, he posed with me for this pic, didn't he??)

Leaning on a Chevy

2004-09-06T22:10:00.001-04:00

Wasn't it nice of this guy to let me lean on his Chevy for this pic???

The Teasers

2004-09-06T22:10:00.000-04:00

Here I am hanging out with Charity and Valerie from Jimmy and the Teasers! What can I say? Rocker Girls RULE!

Gravy Boat @ Echo Lounge

2004-09-06T22:06:00.000-04:00

Gravy Boat ~ Jerry & the rest of the band came all the way from Austin, TX to play the pre-party at the Echo Lounge on Friday Night! I'll be adding more about them (and the other bands that played) to ABK Rulz sometime this week.

2004-09-03T07:33:00.000-04:00

Good Morning! Hope that you all had Sweet Dreams. I have had a slight change of plans and will be heading in to work this morning for a few hours. Not sure if I am heading to Atlanta tonight or tomorrow morning. Depends on how things go. Have a Great Day!!!

Hey, click here and you can HEAR Me Talk!

2004-09-02T23:31:00.000-04:00

Wow - I made changes and an additional Blog!

2004-09-02T21:57:00.000-04:00

Ok, So I changed the music on here. For the moment, you'll hear Guns N Roses "I think about You." Why you ask?? Because the song rocks and I can't find any other URL for music that I like better at the moment.

I also created a new blog "ABK Rulz" where I can list links/bands/tattoo joints/etc and not all of the inner thinkings of mine that you have all come to know and love! (If'n you don't stop laughing, I'm about to throw down wif ya!) It's listed in my Cool Links over there --> . I put The Ramones "I Wanna Be Sedated" on there because, well, just because I wanted to dammit!

Another addition to this site is the addition of my GUESTBOOK!!! In case you don't know what it is for, it's a place where ya'll can leave me lil messages and such. And, I expect you to leave me lil messages and such or else, see previous paragraph!! (I will probably be removing the tag board soon though, since I've had a few complaints about it, and no one posts on it anymore anyway, and well .... with the guest book, it's not as in your face that ya'll aren't leaving me messages) :::: sticks out tongue :::::

Ok, so I think that about wraps it up for the new stuff on here for the moment. (Told you in prior posts that I'd be changing things alot so you shouldn't get used to things)

As for my weekend plans - it looks as though I am heading to Atlanta to attend the Drive-In Invasion ... of course, I'll let ya'll know how it went. So, if you don't hear from me for a few days, I'm in Atlanta having fun. If you do, it either got rained out really bad or it wasn't all I thought it would be ....

Either way, thanks for stopping by and bearing with me through my many changes! Take Care & May Angels watch over you always!!

Tattoo Comic, I couldn't resist!

2004-09-02T21:50:00.000-04:00

Ok, so you can always look at your own comics - but seeing as how I just got a new tatt on Sunday and this was in the paper today, I couldn't resist - don't like it??? K M A

Hurricane Frances - will it hit or miss Georgia?

2004-09-02T07:49:00.000-04:00

Ok, so the big talk with everyone is whether or not the latest Hurricane is going to hit Georgia. It seems to be taking that approach. But, most of them do and then, change course and spare us. Still, it is scarey to think that we may be hit with those kind of winds and the destruction that they can cause. We've had tons of rain lately which makes for small "floods" until the rain stops. Had to drive through one yesterday with water up to the rocker panels - UGH! And these Georgia people can't DRIVE for SHIT in the RAIN! Thank God they don't get ice & snow like we did in West Virginia.

With a possible evacuation in the future, I decided to start looking into driving to Atlanta to go to the Starlight Six Drive-In Invasion. Had already planned to go with Tid but .. Anyways ... Seems I'll be winging it alone if I do go. But, I can't seem to find a hotel close enough to not get lost. Camping is supposed to be $25 a night - but no showers nearby (A BIG UGH!) A friend of mine with a place 35 miles away said I can crash at his house ... hmmmm???

Brit is heading to Maryland to stay with her mom to be out of the Hurricane's path. The boys are supposed to be heading to Kentucky and possibly Alabama. Mark & Misty are either going to Tennessee or just gonna hang out getting their new place in order. So, I'm thinking that being in this building over a long weekend without someone to chit chat with is going to be BORING as hell (not to mention scarey as hell if Frances does give us Georgians her Wrath!) so ... I guess I'd better make a decision soon as to what I plan to do!!!!

I read my horoscope today - WHO WRITES THESE THINGS ANYWAY? I mean yeah, mine is usually close and explains some of the moodiness I have (ok, so it gives me an EXCUSE for the mood swings)

Pisces Horoscope for Thursday, September 2, 2004
You might feel as if you've had to hold yourself back over these last days and even weeks. Now, however, the dam is ready to break and the waters are again ready to flow to the sea. Your separateness is again temporarily dissolving as the reality of your compassion overtakes your need for boundaries. Don't sacrifice your individuality too quickly. It's not selfish to hold onto your own center, for if you get washed out too far from the safety of the shoreline, you won't be of much help to anyone.

Ok, so that's all I can think to write at the moment. Besides, it's time for me to shower and head to Savannah - Ya'll Have a Great Day!

Mid-Life Crisis?

2004-08-31T22:30:00.000-04:00

Hmmm, not alot to talk tonight and didn't post last night either. Not that I don't like my lil blog, I do like it, a lot. And face it, it's not like I've had anything better to do (or anything to do for that matter besides caring for my new tatt, lol) Just been so confused the last 2 days, it's really hard to concentrate enough to make coherent sentences. But to my loyal viewers (all 3 of you) I will try my bestest to make this as entertaining as possible. (If it isn't, well I tried .... and you know the 3 little letters that I would remind you of, right?) (Ok, so you forgot, lemme remind you - they're K M A .. and you know what they mean, lol)

I am not bitching or moaning or complaining, but life hasn't exactly been a walk in the park these last few weeks. My boss is leaving the firm I work for so my job is kinda iffy at best. My Momma (who lives in WV) has been having heart problems. My doctor thinks I have diabetes. I'm dealing with 2 other "storms" that will remain nameless. My sons are growing up too fast. I'm getting old. I got dumped by the one guy I never thought would hurt me. I'm alone, again!

Maybe I am having a dreaded mid-life crisis like Momma suggested. I'm 34, is that possible? I don't feel 34. Some days, I don't think I look 34. But I am.

I have a lot to be thankful for too. My sons are the most important. I love them more than anything in this world. They're beautiful, smart, funny .. loving, just like their Mom (sorry, couldn't resist). I have many friends that love me and are here for me when I let them be. I have been blessed with a strong will and inner strength to weather all of life's storms. I have my own place, a good job (and the ability to get another one if need be) my health, my freedom.

It's just that everyday at work, someone asks me what I am doing about a job and what my boss is doing. I tell them the same thing every time. I DON'T Know. Wish they would just stop asking. I know they are concerned and I appreciate it but it makes it hard to not think about when they mention it ALL the TIME. (ya know?)

And the dumping thing last week. It's confusing as hell. He thinks he isn't good enough for me? That he won't live up to my expectations? But we hung out almost all weekend just like we were dating and I had fun. Maybe it is me that isn't good enough for him? Didn't live up to the expectations he had of me? He's a sweetheart. The kind of guy that would give you the shirt off his back if you asked. Works hard, is smart, funny (even at poor Brit's expense during Taboo, lol) is an upstanding citizen, friendly, outgoing. The last guy I thought I'd ever fall for. The only guy my sons & friends all thought was the one for me. The last guy I ever thought would hurt me. I just don't get it.

We're both Pisces, maybe that is the problem? My Previous Ex was a Pisces. (their birthdays are one day apart, go figure) But they are as different as night and day. My prior and I were together since November 2000 and lived together about 2 1/2 yrs. He cheated, lied to me, abused me in about every way you can imagine, still manages to torment me and we broke up in March. (The day after my 34th Birthday to be exact) I am not sorry he is gone. He and I were one of my biggest mistakes to date. He left me in September 2003 in the worst state possible and I picked myself up and recovered very well. I took him back, (kinda) and let him hurt me again before finally realizing that it was one of those "you can love someone but not be with them" scenarios. I don't hate him even though I'll have scars from him for the rest of my life. I wish him the best actually and hope that he finds the one person out there for him that he won't need to cheat on or hurt to make himself feel better. And that's all I am going to say about that.

The most recent ex .. well ... he and I knew each other from 2001. He dated a friend of mine for a bit. (She's happily married now though with a new baby and we don't talk - so don't you frown at me) We chatted occassionally on here until one night in May when we exchanged numbers. I called him on a whim to come to a cookout that required his presence in less than half an hour. He came. And was here every night for the most part. My sons adored him and told me that I needed to date him. My friends did too. Actually, it was him that said we were dating before I even thought we were. (I was kidding myself apparently, lol) Then the dreaded "L" word got said. He said he loved me all the time and it felt like he did. And then, I started thinking ... and letting him know my thoughts ... and then, he'd come over later if at all or I'd go to him but we were still around each other.

But, then, I started dealing with all the other storms. And thought and verbalized things once too many times apparently. To the extent that he felt he couldn't live up to my expectations. Thought I could end things with him way too easily. Boy, was he ever wrong! He ended them way easier than I ever could. I emailed him last night .. he didn't respond, not sure why. Guess I'll never know. As for what the future holds with him & I? Your guess is as good as mine.

So anyways ... I guess maybe I am dealing with a mid-life crisis. I got a new tattoo that I love (and had said I'd never get one because only losers had them - guess you can add me to that group now, lol) what's the worst that can happen through this crisis? I look like an idiot babbling on this blog? It's MINE! I can babble all I want. Maybe I can look back at my posts later and realize how stupid I was? Who knows?

All I know with any certainty is that life is full of uncertainties and that I will somehow get through whatever life dumps on me and I'll find a way to smile through it all. What more can a 34 year old, single mother of 2 ask for??

And with this post that I didn't think I was gonna write .. I am gonna go crawl up with Ted E and try to dream sweet dreams. Sure waking up alone tomorrow is gonna suck, but, hey, I'll live!

Marked for Life by Chris @ Smiling Buddha

2004-08-29T23:59:00.000-04:00

OMG! I am Soooo Excited! I got my First Tattoo today! Tid went with me to see Chris at Smiling Buddha in Savannah (no links as of this posting but when I get one, I'll post it) - was able to take my doodle of my screen name and turn it into a Work Of Art. Many THANKS to Chris for making my first experience as painless as possible and, of course, to Tid for holding my hand through it and babying me afterwards! YOU GUYS ROCK!!! Even My Momma loves the design and is glad that "her baby" didn't go through the process alone - awwww - being loved is surely a great feeling :D

"The Defilers" ROCKED!

2004-08-29T11:45:00.000-04:00

Friday Night, Tid & I went to see "The Defilers" at the Jinx. Arleigh, Duck and Mike ROCKED! (What more can I say?) My favorite song of the show was "You're Going to Put Me in My Grave."

After the show, we headed to Tid's and hung out drinking and chatting in the pool. (There were photos taken, but alas, not by me) These guys eagerly told me about recording their soon to be released CD (Can't wait to get a copy) and just laughed and made the hours pass by way too quickly.

If you get a chance to hear these guys - DO IT - you won't be disappointed. Check out their site, The Defilers, for more information.

Interesting Political “Facts” (lol)

2004-08-29T09:11:00.000-04:00

Government Emblem:
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.

Ten Commandments:
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse! You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment.

Zero Gravity:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying them.

Our Constitution:
"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and hell, we're not using it anymore."

NEWS

2004-08-27T17:17:00.000-04:00

WEATHER REPORT: The storm has dissipated somewhat but dark clouds are still lingering. Looks like I'm going to have to wait this one out a bit more.

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS: O'Connells Pub seems to be an interesting spot. Be sure to check out the The Defilers at the Jinx, sources reveal that it will be a great show.

That concludes the news at this time. For more information, please check back later.

2004-08-27T07:33:00.000-04:00

Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Horoscope for Friday, August 27, 2004

Even if you have settled into a comfortable relationship, it is now time to expect the unexpected. Of course, how to do that is somewhat of a mystery. The point is that the need for freedom of expression is high and that means anything can happen. If you have tied your future to a narrow band of expectations, then you could be in for a surprise. But if you are open to the infinite realm of possibility, this awakening can carry you along toward your goals in life.

Here is your couple's love horoscope:
Does your relationship have a guardian angel? It'll seem that way when you narrowly avert a catastrophe by a lucky coincidence. Maybe it's a sign -- you make the call.

So it looks kinda nasty outside today. I am fixing to go weather a storm though, so I think it is appropriate, don't you?

As you can see, I read my horoscope - it just seems to be talking about a relationship that I don't have! Just my luck, lol! Well, it's nice to know that if I had one, something unexpected would happen today and that it would have a guardian angel looking over it. (wonder if that is still the case since I am single??) I do like the part about avoiding a catastrophe though, that's always good.

(Closes eyes, takes a deep breath - prays)

So, it's now off to the shower ....

The Eve of One the Storms of My Life

2004-08-26T23:11:00.000-04:00

Today has been one of those days where not much holds my interest for any amount of time. I think it is because I have a "Storm" to weather in the morning on top of the others that I have been through over the last week. (May explain my bout of being throned and praying to the porcelain goddess all day that prompted me to come home early, who knows?)

I didn't really feel like interacting with anyone today but My Baby Sis called me from WV (my heart leapt when I saw the number on the caller ID) so I answered thinking she was calling about Momma. Nope - she was calling to bitch and moan about her fiance' and his interferring mother.

(sighs)

There is mention of the future mother-in-law's chickens in the yard and is worried about Ro not loving her son. After listening to her for 20 minutes (I couldn't get a word in) she asked me for advice (HA!) I told her that I WAS DEFINITELY NOT ONE TO GIVE ADVICE AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME. She rebutted by saying that since I was her big sister I knew more than she did and it was therefore, my duty to help.

(Ok, this is the point that I lost it)

I chidingly said, and this is a direct quote, "Ro, I cannot deal with this at this moment, my plate is already overflowing as it is. He broke up with me because he is afraid I'll hurt him again, I have (insert Storm here) to deal with in the morning, I am worried about Momma, my boss is leaving the office I work at and I am not sure what I will be doing, I don't feel well, and well, I just don't know what to tell you."

Since I have never (in her 32 years) taken that tone with her before (and haven't related just what her "all knowing big sister" has been dealing with lately) she got really quiet and said (I'm choking up here) "Well, I love you sis. Call me tomorrrow and let me know how it goes and if you need anything." You see, I am the Big Sister and I am supposed to be there for her - not the other way around - which explains her not knowing what I was dealing with here.

I felt absolutely horrible. Not that I didn't already but that was the blow that released the Emotional Dam all over again.

So, I sat in the dark living room for a bit with Nag Champa burning and cried with Ted. Brit called me about attending the "Storm" with me and we set that all up.

I could not shake that miserable feeling of missing him at this particular moment, not with all this other stuff happening. I summoned up all the courage I could and picked up the phone and called him, not knowing if he'd answer or what I'd say even if he did. He answered and we talked for a while, which, I needed even if it makes me look this way or that. I somehow get the feeling that he needed it too and doesn't think less of me for wanting/needing to talk to him. (Thank You Darling)

Now, I feel a wee bit better and am sitting here listening to Mp3s. I should go to sleep but I am not tired. So, until I am, I will sit here quietly reflecting while listening to Patsy, Johnny Cash, Live, The Ramones, Matchbox 20, Straight 8's, Gretchen Wilson and Toby Keith. (what a mixture)

How will you DIE?

2004-08-26T13:34:00.000-04:00

After being woken up from a pretty cool dream by the apt maintainence guy to do the monthly inspection (I am home early from work because my tummy hurts) I decided that since I could not return to the dream (yes, I tried) I would see what was up in the world of blogging. I took this Quiz off Chuck's blog, How Will You Die?, (I took it as Amy & Angel Bear, yes I am bored! lol) and could not get the dam thing to post right so, after numerous attempts - I decided to just post the link and the results.

(perplexed look)

Well, according to "The QUIZ," it seems that Angel Bear is going to die at 65 while I am sleeping. (Nice, peaceful way to go) I, on the otherhand, am going to die at 69 of drowning. (So, I'm thinking, that's not too bad. Just hope I look good in a bikini because you know that's how they'll find me, lol)

Looking on the bright side of things, I determine that I luckily have 31 more years to provide you with the ABK shenangians and ramblings you have come to know and love (Stop Rolling Your Eyes!) and 35 more years to Grow Up and maybe, just maybe - find Mr. Right! (Yeah, like that'll happen!)

Anyway, these quizzes are pretty fun, so, try it! What's the worst that can happen?? (giggles)

2004-08-25T22:42:00.000-04:00

Ok, so my day didn't turn out to be so bad after all. (didn't cry yet and that's a plus, lol) It's Wednesday! One more day before my long weekend. (Taking Friday off to handle a "storm" but will not be tied up too long so, it's like a VACATION Day!) (Actually, I have 2 long weekends in a row because Tid had asked me to go to Drive-In Invasion with him over Labor Day, and I put in for the time off already so next week, I am off Thursday through Tuesday, what am I gonna do now??)

During a smoke break, I ran into 4 incredible looking BellSouth guys! (My telephone guy has the "butt-crack, dicky-do" syndrome, ugh!) One of whom had just lost a bet for $5 to each of the others because he didn't guess all 50 states (He missed UTAH, the only state where it is legal to be married to more than one person at a time!) Never will understand why men are always so competitive, must be the testosterone! But did welcome the fact that I noticed other guys were attractive, that's a start.

I joined an AVON conversation, worked on a Motion, a letter, updated contact information, entered time, found out more about the status of my job ... yada yada yada, such is the life of a secretary! Then, I heard about the Dave Matthews Band Shituation, to which I laughed hysterically and shared with several other co-workers.

And then, as I was leaving the parking lot, I ran into a guy that had been at Max & Brandon's wedding. (I forget his name - met alot of people that night, get over it!) Told him I'd figure out a way to show him the pics I took, but forgot to ask if he had a pc for a disk or if I'd have to show him prints - will figure that one out later. (yes, he's cute, but that is not why I talked to him, I am a people person, I TALK!)

Decided that Friday, after "the storm." I am going to go to O'Connell's and then to the Jynx to see " The Defilers, even if I have to go SOLO! (I am in serious need of some FUN, and am outgoing and capable of hanging out by myself if need be) B from work said he might can find me a man to accompany me but I don't know ...

Got an email forwarded to me from "him." My dear friend Brit had emailed him her thoughts (and he replied, miracles never cease!) so, of course, I responded to what he had to say about me and the situation. (She did better than I did because I rarely got responses from him, lol) Of course, I still have not received a response from him and likely won't. As I said earlier, it'll be his LOSS!

A little while ago, my friend Brad came by with a task that needs my expertise! (I am so glad to have someone need me, lol!!) Brad just got married on Monday (Congrats!) and I am very happy for him and glad that he chose me to help him with his very important, but unnamed task.

Ok people, that's been my day in a nutshell. I am about to hit the hay with Ted E. and will definitely be back tomorrow with more news in the life of ABK ... Sweet Dreams!!!

The Rulz Have Changed!

2004-08-25T14:04:00.000-04:00

1~ No More Apologies or Begging To "Him." I was not wrong to feel the way I did, given the situation. Yes, maybe I handled it wrong, I made a mistake (I am not perfect and never claimed to be) But I did give it 110% trying to make it better and it didn't work. I love him and miss him but he walked away. His Loss.

2~ No More Being Down on Myself. I am not a bad person. I am a single mom that works hard to maintain a home for myself and my sons by myself but still find time to help people I care about in any way that I can.

3~ No More Saying I Am Weak Because I Cry & Hurt! I am a strong person because I continue to care about people after being hurt and am willing to try even when I am scared of rejection and struggling through many storms at once.

4~ No More Making Excuses for Others. I am responsible for what I do and say, so are they.

5~ No More Giving More Than I Get From Men. (Ok, so this one is going to be the hardest to keep. If you know me, you'll understand why.) I deserve the same love, respect and devotion that I give. PERIOD.

***************************
Now I have to try to think of the best way to break the news to the boys that he won't be in their lives anymore. That's going to be a tough one because they really like him and were always begging to see him. (Truth be known, it was CJ & Brit that convinced me he was worth giving a chance when he started hanging out with us) You know, being a single parent trying to date is one of the hardest jobs there is I think. Not only do we have to face possible rejection ourselves, but we also have to help our children deal with it. Gives you something to think about, huh?!