Ok, bear with me here. I know I was just here a few hours ago but - usually, by now, I have written him an email to let him know I am thinking of him and to wish him a good day at work. And well darn it, I can't do that since he doesn't want to be with me. (besides, I think that would only drive him farther away if that is possible) With the key return hanging over my head, I feel as though someone is sitting on my chest, making it hard to breathe. I don't want it to happen but since it is unavoidable, I just want to get it over with as quickly and painlessly (yeah, right!) as possible. Is it pathetic of me to hurt like this and admit that I don't want to lose him?? Ah shit, who cares?! I love him and miss him and don't care how that makes me look!