Reflecting on Relationships
Ok, so I'm sitting here waiting to see what/if any effects our area gets from the latest hurricane and decided to clean some of the papers off my desk (dang, where did all this shit come from??). I stumbled onto a scribbled note I made about a topic I wanted to post on my blog. So, since I have nothing else to write about at the moment, HERE GOES!
First, I'm gonna quote an Old Wives Tale - "If you buy shoes for a woman, she'll walk right out of your life."
Not sure why I felt the need to start off with that quote - but, it's my blog and I can do what I want So THERE!
Now with that said, I'll start my journal entry.
You see, the significance of that quote to me is this - I have been thinking about my relationships that have failed and figured out a few similarities in each of them. So Bear with me as I list some of them for you.
1st Similarity?? If a guy I am seeing buys me a T-shirt - I end up with the T-shirt and not the guy. (In some cases, this is a blessing) So, new rule??? Don't buy me any t-shirts. While I do appreciate the thought, I can buy my own and don't want to put on a t-shirt and remember where it came from if it came from a failed relationship. Throwing the t-shirts away in some cases might be the answer - but some of them are pretty cool & comfy so I keep them - so from now on, I'll just buy my own and not have that problem.
2nd Similarity? Big, muscle bound guys (all with hidden tatts) that are Military or Ex-Military. So, I dig men in uniform but seem to pick the wrong ones. (this is not the case with my ex-hubby who I was with for 10 years and have 2 beautiful sons by - he is not the typical "type" I fall for though .. hmm)
3rd Similarity? They like fast cars, bikes/4-wheelers, guns, redheads, have an azz fetish, and listen to just about any music there is. (This isn't a bad thing because I like those things too, have red hair, and they have all turned me on to bands that I otherwise wouldn't have heard)
4th Similarity? If they seem to like me more than I do them at first, they don't last. And, once they have uttered that "L" word, shit changes .. usually for the worst. (I am beginning to think that these men have LOVE confused with LUST. Love Lasts .. Lust doesn't. So maybe I need to clarify that with any future prospects??)
5th Similarity? Can't remember any of them that really liked MY FRIENDS! Have on occasion ditched friends to keep guy - not anymore. Friends last longer than men do, so either deal with my friends .. or I can show ya the door.
6th Similarity?? All of them have "ISSUES" with their family members. (Shoulda been a dead giveaway to run like hell in the opposite direction as fast as I could instead of either trying to be understanding, sympathetic or helpful.) Reality check here - EVERYONE has an issue with someone in their family. If we liked everyone we were related to, it just wouldn't be life. We all know that we can't pick our relatives, so get over your issues!
7th Similarity? They're all divorced and have "issues" stemming from the divorce. Either she cheated, he cheated because she did this/that, or something along those lines. This is hard for me to relate to because I am good friends with my ex mainly because of the kids. We grew in different directions and while we don't always agree, I don't hate him or say he's evil. I mean, really .. if you loved them at one time - how can they be totally evil?? It reflects poorly on you if all you can do is say negative things about the other person. I mean, you picked them, right?? So, what does it say about you if all you can say is negative things about the person you once loved?
I think that about sums up the similarity issue. Not really sure what writing about them did other than made a visual for me to fall back on in the event I decide to date again so I can remember things about the ones that didn't work ... not even sure if I can/should change the "type" guys that I am attracted to just learn to see the "signs" earlier and run when I see them, lol.
I'm mainly just sitting here bored and rambling. But, I am realizing one important thing ... Being in relationships is hard and takes work, no matter what kind of relationship it is. Kids, Friends, Lovers ... the only thing that doesn't take work is having a "booty call" because with them, you don't have to deal with their idiosyncrasies. You just call them up when you are in need, they come, fill the need, and then you show them to the door - No DRAMA Involved. How easy is that??
Yeah, that would be a pretty cool life I suppose. But, then society would frown upon you for having "meaningless sex" and you'd never have someone to cuddle with when it rained or grow old with ... but .. there's NO DRAMA ... No Feelings Involved to get hurt ... hmmm, tough one here ....
Lemme think about this one for a while :)
First, I'm gonna quote an Old Wives Tale - "If you buy shoes for a woman, she'll walk right out of your life."
Not sure why I felt the need to start off with that quote - but, it's my blog and I can do what I want So THERE!
Now with that said, I'll start my journal entry.
You see, the significance of that quote to me is this - I have been thinking about my relationships that have failed and figured out a few similarities in each of them. So Bear with me as I list some of them for you.
1st Similarity?? If a guy I am seeing buys me a T-shirt - I end up with the T-shirt and not the guy. (In some cases, this is a blessing) So, new rule??? Don't buy me any t-shirts. While I do appreciate the thought, I can buy my own and don't want to put on a t-shirt and remember where it came from if it came from a failed relationship. Throwing the t-shirts away in some cases might be the answer - but some of them are pretty cool & comfy so I keep them - so from now on, I'll just buy my own and not have that problem.
2nd Similarity? Big, muscle bound guys (all with hidden tatts) that are Military or Ex-Military. So, I dig men in uniform but seem to pick the wrong ones. (this is not the case with my ex-hubby who I was with for 10 years and have 2 beautiful sons by - he is not the typical "type" I fall for though .. hmm)
3rd Similarity? They like fast cars, bikes/4-wheelers, guns, redheads, have an azz fetish, and listen to just about any music there is. (This isn't a bad thing because I like those things too, have red hair, and they have all turned me on to bands that I otherwise wouldn't have heard)
4th Similarity? If they seem to like me more than I do them at first, they don't last. And, once they have uttered that "L" word, shit changes .. usually for the worst. (I am beginning to think that these men have LOVE confused with LUST. Love Lasts .. Lust doesn't. So maybe I need to clarify that with any future prospects??)
5th Similarity? Can't remember any of them that really liked MY FRIENDS! Have on occasion ditched friends to keep guy - not anymore. Friends last longer than men do, so either deal with my friends .. or I can show ya the door.
6th Similarity?? All of them have "ISSUES" with their family members. (Shoulda been a dead giveaway to run like hell in the opposite direction as fast as I could instead of either trying to be understanding, sympathetic or helpful.) Reality check here - EVERYONE has an issue with someone in their family. If we liked everyone we were related to, it just wouldn't be life. We all know that we can't pick our relatives, so get over your issues!
7th Similarity? They're all divorced and have "issues" stemming from the divorce. Either she cheated, he cheated because she did this/that, or something along those lines. This is hard for me to relate to because I am good friends with my ex mainly because of the kids. We grew in different directions and while we don't always agree, I don't hate him or say he's evil. I mean, really .. if you loved them at one time - how can they be totally evil?? It reflects poorly on you if all you can do is say negative things about the other person. I mean, you picked them, right?? So, what does it say about you if all you can say is negative things about the person you once loved?
I think that about sums up the similarity issue. Not really sure what writing about them did other than made a visual for me to fall back on in the event I decide to date again so I can remember things about the ones that didn't work ... not even sure if I can/should change the "type" guys that I am attracted to just learn to see the "signs" earlier and run when I see them, lol.
I'm mainly just sitting here bored and rambling. But, I am realizing one important thing ... Being in relationships is hard and takes work, no matter what kind of relationship it is. Kids, Friends, Lovers ... the only thing that doesn't take work is having a "booty call" because with them, you don't have to deal with their idiosyncrasies. You just call them up when you are in need, they come, fill the need, and then you show them to the door - No DRAMA Involved. How easy is that??
Yeah, that would be a pretty cool life I suppose. But, then society would frown upon you for having "meaningless sex" and you'd never have someone to cuddle with when it rained or grow old with ... but .. there's NO DRAMA ... No Feelings Involved to get hurt ... hmmm, tough one here ....
Lemme think about this one for a while :)
posted by Unknown at
9/26/2004 01:05:00 PM
1 Comments:
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