Ok Ya'll ~ I'm Officially Scared Now!

I hate being scared! I really, really do. But I have a good reason to be terrified at the moment. The rapist has been in our apartment complex a few times tonight already. We've had the police here because of all the sightings. They aren't saying much just that he's getting more aggressive and that we need to be careful. I live on the bottom floor apt with bushes by doors. Our nice police neighbor is out of town for the weekend so it seems like the rapist has been watching for this because he hasn't come near while the officer was here.

I was so scared, I even called Tid even though I didn't want to bother him. I must've woke him up because he didn't seem too friendly or concerned. I think he thinks I am over-reacting, but, who wouldn't be scared with a rapist in their apartment complex when they lived alone?? I mean yes, as he said on the phone, he has given me the tools to protect/defend myself but I mentioned that it's having the ability to be able to use what he is teaching me when/if I have to (WHICH I HOPE I NEVER DO) that's the hard part.

Oooohh! That makes me sooo dayum mad about some men. (really angry face) I mean what? I'm good enough to have sex with, hang out with, to teach safety and loan a gun to but not good enough to show compassion to when I am terrified because there's a SERIAL RAPIST prowling where I live???

Ok, so I got off topic there maybe a little but dammit - calling him wasn't easy. I don't want to admit I am scared, especially not to someone that dumped me like he did and kept me confused for weeks afterward. I mean, I don't get it .. how can you love someone and be happy with them, dump them so they don't dump/hurt you and then act like you could care less that they are scared that a rapist is nearby??? FUK! I don't get it!

Back to the rapist thingy ~ poor Brit is as terrified as I am and we're sitting here talking in instant messages because we know going outside isn't safe. I'm single and her hubby is army and gone a good bit at times. Both of us hate that we lost the piece of mind we had living here because of this. Both of us live on the bottom floors too ... which is not making it any easier. Shit, both of us have mentioned moving at least once tonight, even though we know that this could happen anywhere, Shit, it did here! At least we have each other looking out for the other, huh??

Well, I got to try to sleep tonight ~ though I doubt that is possible with all this and the boys will be here tomorrow and I gotta be strong for them and not let them worry about their Momma ~

Ya'll have a good night & Sweet Dreams ... and hey, could ya send me some strength, courage and prayers?