Changes .. surgery, a new cell phone, furniture and me??

Ok, so they called me from the docs this week - they finally know what kind of surgery they recommend after tests and a review of past medicals .... not what I had expected (I honestly hoped I was imagining the shit/stress caused it) I suppose but I'll get used to it ... they want what most of us women fear ... but with raised white blood cell counts (but high hemo/iron thanks to my diet), pain and the icky bleeding, scarring, other shit I don't wanna name - they think that the almost full deal is needed ... I'm 36, WTF? I gotta call them later this week with the go ahead to notify my insurance and then schedule it ... hopefully my downtime will be minimum since I'm already working from home even with a full time assistant to try to keep up ….

I called my Momma (kept missing her but finally got her) and she seemed more distracted by the grocery shopping she had done than the news I had from the doc but hey, what’s new where’s she’s concerned … and people ask why I’m not living closer/missing her more???

After the mess with Virgin Mobile (that I was able to fix) I still got a new cell phone … so if you need the number, message me – ya’ll can understand why it’s not posted here I hope, lol …

Lately, I got longer hair and been sittin on my new couch … the longer hair is driving me nuts – prolly time to donate it to “Locks for Love” again but hubby and sons like it long so I guess we’ll see …

Changes are part of every life I know but dammit, sometimes, I just want my life to stop changing a bit to give me time to catch up – is that too much to ask???

Bless The Broken Road ….

Yeah, I’m kinda sitting here in a sappy mood at the moment. Not sure why but I guess I can blame it on the upcoming surgery I have to have … not sure what they will have to do to me to make me “better” but any surgery has a tendency to make you worry and not knowing what kind they want you to have, well, that makes it even worse …

In the midst of my thinking of the “future” I guess I’ve thought about the past a little tonight … thought about the people in my past that I’ve thought I’ve loved only to learn later that I must not have since I got over them so quickly – hell, some of them, even now, I detest – what’s that say?? Ya’ll know the ones – hell, some of them you marry, have kids with or at least put in many years with only to later find out that they’re not even the people you thought they were or the people you loved anyway …

In the thinking, I’ve started realizing that the ones that lasted the longest were the worst for me in every way. They were the ones I “thought I could change if I loved them enough” … ha ha .. betcha a few of you out there can relate to this one ….

But anyway – in my thinking, I’ve come to realize that I truly do love the man I am married to at this moment in my life because he is unlike any I’ve ever known before. He’s been through similar situations like I have … he has 2 sons like me …. But he accepts me for me and by god, he loves me anyway – he must to put up with my shit … medical, bitchiness, internet, religion, drinking (though a lot less than before) and well, just me in general. Being with him has made me not want to drink as much, be on the internet as much and want to be more domesticated (yep, I said that D word) …

Yes, we’ve had a few fights that got out of hand but through it all, nothing changes the fact that we both love it the most when we are in each others arms … nothing makes either of us as happy as the other touching us … we have no secrets from each other … we both feel we can share everything – that speaks volumes …

So Jason, if you read this … know that I do bless the broken roads I’ve had to travel to find you and don’t regret any of them for a minute because traveling them made me appreciate and love you more and I know that you’ll be here by my side no matter what my future holds and I’ll be by yours …. I love you baby …