Charli, Me & Kayla at my mom's

RHRA Football Homecoming - Panther's Float

Devon & his teammates on the float before the parade today.

My Sporty Sons

CJ's number 16 for the Fall Baseball Home League and plays shortstop/outfield/second base. Devon plays for the U10 Panthers and is their newest (and BEST) Noseguard.
Having them both in different sports with different games/practices makes life a little hectic on weekends especially but I love them more than life itself so, I am one PROUD MOMMA ~~~ can you blame me?? They're adorable!!!

Tori & Me

Tori lives upstairs and is Paula's daughter. For a 13yr old New York kid, she's pretty cool and I try to take her with me when I am out and about at the boys' games, parades, etc ... her "I dunno, Faggot" and "Nevermind it" can get a lil aggravating but I luvs her so, it's all good!

Me & Devon ~ PreGame

Me & Devon before his game - ain't he a cutie???

Devon Plays Nose Guard!

Devon was on top of his game tonight! They changed the coaching staff after an incident last week that had been building and he was AWESOME as Nose Guard, the position he loves to play. He even got his pinky broke - we used a Certs container and tape to stabilize his fingers - and he stayed in the game the entire second half. He wasn't named MVP but should have been. Yes, I am a very proud Momma at this moment!!

My Boss on TV

I had a great weekend. It was long and tiring - but GREAT! I spent Friday & Saturday nights at the Richmond Hill Seafood Festival, moved into my new office today and set up all my cool new gadgets, went to dinner at the Shrimp Factory with my boss and his wife, then came home and watched my boss on TV.

Yes, I said watch my Boss on TV. I normally don't watch TV (just DVDs now and then) but tonight - my boss was on the local LawTalk program so I HAD TO WATCH IT!!! He answered the questions very well and at the end, they even displayed our new location! (Which is very good for business since he's starting his own practice)

Now, I'm heading to bed. I have a long week ahead of me and am thoroughly exhausted!

Sweet Dreams!

ABK Rulz on MySpace - Look Out!

Oops - It's 5:30 and I'm supposed to be ready to go to the Seafood Festival but once again, I've spent almost all day goofing off on the dayum internet instead of getting ready earlier like I should have. (translation = sitting here with wet hair, wet nails & no shoes on)

Of course, I've also set up yet another internet account where I can post all kinds of stuff - ABK Rulz on MySpace - Look Out! - so, just when you thought I was restricted to BlogSpot and Loserville - think again. Of course, the MySpace site is cool as shit and has more interaction than this one - but don't worry, I'll still be on this one filling you in on all my latest shenanigans and shit! (Thought you could get rid of me easily didn't you? lol)

Ok well, I really gotta get motivated now or the boys and Tori are gonna gang up and beat me for making them miss a ride or something.

Devon @ Richmond Hill Seafood Festival - even with rides & games, he'd still rather be climbing. (He's sitting on the top of the swings)

CJ playing the Dart Game @ Richmond Hill Seafood Festival - He won on the first try and picked out a 69 Firebird picture for his room. (In a few more years, he'll probably be picking the Playboy Bunny or Bikini Model pics, lol)

UGH! It's Monday!

Chuck left me a comment on my post from yesterday asking me "how many buckets of rain and if he could get an estimate?" Well ~ I told him "I would say about 50 buckets (10 gallon buckets to be exact) every minute! Can you believe it? I actually contemplated going swimming in my front yard/parking lot!" So far, he hasn't responded but I'll let you know if he does.

Incidentally, Chuck is one of the few people that I know reads my blog on a regular basis. At least he didn't make a comment about the Yahoo Personal Ad I posted, huh?? I shudder to think of what he might have said!

Today was a good, busy day at work. Still working on "transition issues" but hope to be in my new office soon. I was groggy all day today because I stayed up until after 3am talking to someone. (Didn't help that I was still sick from Friday I suppose) but, it was very interesting conversation and made me smile until my cheeks hurt ~ every conversation should be that way!

After I came home from work, I took a hot bath (No, I didn't shower this morning. I didn't wake up until 8 and have to leave at 830 so I just got dressed, brushed my teeth, put on some make up and went to work and still made it there by 845 ~ I'm good, what can I say?) smoked a cigarette with Paula & Brittany and went for CRABLEGS and BEER (mmm, beer) with the conversationalist and his son. It was very nice. (His son is 16 and could teach my 2 a few things, whether or not it would be good things or not remains to be seen)

Oops, now, I'm sitting here on the phone and losing the ability to concentrate on my jouirnal so I'll have to get back to you later ... Sweet Dreams Ya'll ....

Rainy Sunday In Richmond Hill

Ok, so it's like pouring buckets of rain here right now. Like we needed more rain! (deep sigh)

I was the nice friendly neighbor this weekend. I watched 3 kids that weren't mine (and are younger than mine) ~ 2 little boys while their dad moved stuff into his apartment yesterday afternoon and 1 little girl overnight while her mommy went out last night. It's harder watching younger ones when mine are pretty self-sufficient but I really don't mind. Though hearing Ms. Amy about a Million times can get nerve-racking, I'm sure if I need the parents to repay the favor for me, they will. Not that they have to. I'm just nice like that sometimes ~ but don't tell anyone. I prefer them to think I'm a self-centered, self-serving beotch. Not sure why I want people to think that, but at the moment, I do.

Let's see, what else have I been up to lately? Oh, I posted a personal ad on Yahoo the other night. (Stop laughing at me) I figured ~ What the Heck? ~ and yes, I've gotten replies/responses already and haven't even paid the $19.99 for the "service." (I probably won't either - SO THERE) Yahoo has so nicely found me a few "perfect matches" already too .. (You have 1-5 hearts to determine compatability with 5 hearts being "perfect") Wanna hear the ironic part? (Well, I'm going to tell you anyway) One of my "perfect 5-heart matches" is my EX! Who else but me would have that kind of luck? (rolls eyes) Anyway ~ I guess I'll have to see how this personal thing goes. Hopefully any potential "dates" won't mind me talking about them on here ... hmm, maybe I shoulda posted that in the Ad??

: : : : : Yahoo Personals - About Me : : : : : : : : : :
I should warn you that I have an online journal so don't be surprised or offended if you get talked about on it. If that's going to be a problem, you might want to keep searching because I talk about EVERYTHING on my Blog.
: : : : : : :

Ya think I'd get any responses if I add that paragraph?? Do I really care if honesty keeps people away?? (laughing) Uh No, I don't.

Well, I think I have written everything I can for the moment so I'm going to go see what kind of single men are out there WAITING TO MAKE THE CONNECTION (huge, devilish grin)

Buh bye

Happy 69th Birthday Daddy

Happy Birthday Daddy. I can't really believe you've been gone 11 years now. There are still times where I have to remind myself that you're not here.

You know, like when I hear a noise in my car - you don't know how many times I have thought "Daddy will know what that is and how to fix it." Or when the mechanic is telling me something that I know is absolute Bull but they think they can get one over on me because I'm a girl. They don't know that you tried to teach me all the basics of cars when I was younger. Sure, I liked the FAST muscle cars and wanted to hear about engine sizes and such so I'd look cool with the boys .. but , me being a girl, I always said that I'd never need to know how to change oil/tires or care what that sound was coming from under the hood because some man would always take care of it for me. Yeah, I was right. Mechanics are mostly men but gawd what they charge! Luckily for me, I retained enough of what you taught me to not be a total idiot when it comes to cars.

Ya know, Tid has a 55 Chevy but it's no where near as cool as yours was. A few of the people I've met lately would kill to have half the cars/trucks you had in your lifetime. In Atlanta at the car show during the Drive-In Invasion, I saw so many of the cars you had .. and of course, I thought about you and what you'd be saying if you saw them.

Lately, there's been times when I listen to a new band and think that you'd really like them. Or wish that I woulda been interested in "your music" when you were here to share it with me without me complaining that it was "old fogey music." Right now, I'm sitting here listening to Hank Sr, Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline and have even listened to lots of Jimmie Rodgers. Of course, in your honor, before bed I'll listen to "I Like Beer" by Tom T. Hall and have a beer for you ...

I miss being able to run to you when my heart is broken or when someone hurts my feelings by saying I'm not good enough for this or that ... I don't miss that you weren't here to see me go through the abusive relationship that I was in. I know you would have tried to make it better someway, endangering yourself if need be because you're my Daddy and didn't want your little girl hurt. I'm out of it now and promise I'll be a lot smarter next time and not allow myself to get in that situation.

I wish you could be here to see your grandsons Daddy. You have 4 of them and a granddaughter somewhere. My 2 play sports - CJ plays baseball and Devon plays football. It'd be nice to have you at a game with me cheering them on, but I know that you are there with me, even though I can't see you. Devon is more like me when I was little and is forever playing with creepie crawlie things and doing anything he can to be outside playing. He's now my spider/frog/lizard chaser and seems to like that job. And keeping him out of trees is as impossible for me as it was for you to keep me out of them when I was his age. He has your sense of saying the funniest things that aren't really funny. One day when I told him to take out the trash, he looked at me with the most serious look on his face and told me "Momma, I think you had me just to take out your trash." (Remember the flashlight/marriage license incident where you were looking for the expiration date?? LOL - course, Momma didn't think it was funny as we did) CJ, well - he's into movies and video games and quite the little "player" with girlfriends all the time. They're both adorable and smart. Being here in Georgia with them was probably one of the best things I've done because they have so many more opportunities here than they would have had in West Virginia. We're not around the "family" except once a year but I guess in the end, moving here with them was better even though it means missing so much and so many people that we love.

I talked to Momma last night on the phone and she reminded me that today was your birthday. I didn't need her to remind me though. Every year since you've been gone - the week of your birthday and the week you died is the hardest on me and I get so moody. Even when I try to not think about it, it's still there, and I can't help but cry and miss you so much. You'd think that after all this time, it'd get easier but it hasn't. Some have told me to get over it and move on .. but, they haven't lost their daddy ... not had to watch someone they love so much die that way ... knowing that all you can do is be there to let you know I loved you and help your pain the best I could. I wouldn't trade one minute that I was there but I wish sometimes that I could have done something to make you not hurt so much. To make you still be here. But I know that it was your time and you're in a better place now - with all your friends that went before & after you ...

I got to hear you tell me you were proud of me. I got to know that you counted on me to take care of things when you were gone and I hope that I did a good enough job for you. That was a big responsibility and very hard - losing you and dealing with the arrangements. But you, being the "protector" that you were, you would not die until we were out of the room and it was just you and Momma. Hearing her scream when you left was the worst sound I have ever heard in my life and I hope I never, ever have to hear that again. You and her being married that long is still the thing I hope that one day, I will find. You and her had unconditional love that nothing tore apart even though it wasn't always easy.

You know, I see Dad's today that shirk their responsibilities and it makes me sick. You were always there for me in your own way. You weren't the mushy type but I always knew you loved me and were going to be there if I needed you. You never really got mad at me for much. I remember 3 times in my whole life you punished me, though I deserved many more. You had little but made sure that we were all taken care of. I only hope that when CJ & Devon are older that they can think as highly of me as I do of you.

Because of your illness, I got to say my goodbyes and all the things I needed to say. I got to hear the most important things too but I still miss you. I'm not sure when or if there will ever be a time that I don't miss you. You taught me some of the most important things in life that I needed to know to make it on my own ... you taught me that no matter how hard things get, you don't give up ... you taught me to be there for the people that needs me and to be able to forgive/forget and to say you're sorry when you're wrong. You taught me that the ones we love aren't perfect - but that loving them is a gift and to accept them as they are.

I have turned out to be a stubborn person that has been knocked on my ass many, many times since you've been gone but I always get up, dust my ass off and try again. I can take care of myself though I do get lonely at times. I have been hurt but don't hold that against people. I've been done wrong (and yes, I've even done wrong) but, through it all ... I'm here ... doing the best that I can and pretty much happy with who I have turned out to be ... Maybe one day, I'll find someone that will be happy with me for who I am and not run at the first sign of a problem and give up and take the easy road out. If not, oh well, their loss, right?

I'm not perfect Daddy. I never will be. I drink too much at times ... I smoke too much .. I say what I think sometimes without thinking ... but I work hard every day at a job I taught myself how to do, I provide for myself and I take care of my sons and they know that I love them more than life itself. The friends that I have know that I will be there for them in any way that I can. What more can I ask for?

I just hope that you're up there looking down at me, still proud of your Mimi ... your silly lil Mamie Nae that threw wax balls and climbed trees and wanted the fastest cars, you thinking (and making it known, lol) that she was too good for the boys in the neighborhood...

I know Forever, Amen was your song to Momma .. and I can't hear it without remembering you ... but, I hope that you know ... that no matter how long you've been gone .. I'll always miss you and love you very much ...

and I'll always be your Mimi ....

Happy Birthday Daddy .. I love you ...

Daddy @ Moose Picnic - July 1991

Daddy & Amy - 1972

Not Gonna Blog Much!

I don't wanna blog tonight! I HATE that song "ONLY ONE" by Yellowcard .. it totally sucks ass! And it won't stop playing in my head! Someone make it STOP!!!!

I don't want anyone to see through me or stop loving me and find someone else ... I want them to make me their "only one" but I don't think that is a possibility ... all they see me for is a "LUST" thing and I HATE it .. .

I Wanna SCREAM at the TOP O MY LUNGS ... I don't want this loneliness .. don't wanna feel like I have to be alone ... I HATE IT ...

Don't wanna feel like I am too good .. like I am too silly ... too flirty ... too ... AMY to be loved for me ... I want someone to FIND me .. and Be HAPPY with me ...

My Momma and I talked tonight on the phone .. I miss her .. she's doing good but the shunts are still a problem ... but as always, she is worried about me being here in Georgia all alone ... I wanna do something to make her smile ... to make her proud of me .. she says she is .. but .... she reminded me of the concerts she took me to when I was little and I hated it ... Stonewall Jackson, Hank Jr., Lil Jimmy Dickens, Bill Anderson ... all the greats of Country ... she misses me .. she worries about me ... she's my momma and I love her ... and she's too far away for me to hug and tell her how much I love and miss her ... and how much I worry about her ....

Why did I decide to stay here again?? I forget at times like this ... when I am all alone .. needing a hug from someone that loves & cares 2 shits about me ... my sons are here and will have a better life ... but ... everyone that loves me is in WV ... 767 miles from me ... all my friends that care, my family .. all of them .. I am the only one that ever left ... and I miss them ... I come from a big family .. there's 11 aunts/uncles ... more cousins than you can count .. all my friends that I grew up with that I email .... but, they are there, I am here ....

There's got to be a reason that I stayed here besides my sons, but ... I can't seem to remember it right now ... yes, they are the most important thing in my life and maybe deep down, they are the only reason I chose to stay here .. but right now, these empty feelings make it hard to remember that I would gladly give my life for my son's smiles ... for them to have a better opporunity than I ever had .. but .. .when they aren't here .. it is hard to remember why I let myself be cut off from the people that love me to live a life alone .. feeling so unloved ..

I want my momma .. someone to hold me for a minute and tell me it's all gonna be ok ... that I can make it alone ... my sister to tell me that she needs me to fix something .. something so I don't dwell on all this other stuff that makes me sad.

My Momma is worried because my stupid sugar levels keep dropping and I can't keep them up .. . My Doctor says it's stress .. but, I can't change my life and the stress levels ... I'm on the verge of needing stupid medicine intervention if I can't manage them .. I don't want that ... I mean shit, I can't find a man to love me for me .. let alone to love me with a stupid medical condition .... Can you imagine that 1st date?? LOL .. well, my doctor says if my sugar levels drop below ___, I have to have a shot of glucose ... like there are many out there that could handle doing that, huh? Yeah, tons that wouldn't mind giving someone shot in the ass or thigh ...

I'm rambling right now because ... well, I don't know why ... I am sure tomorrrow, I'll make myself find a reason to smile, I always do ... but some days, it gets hard for me ... I try to always be the optimistic person my friends think that I am .. but in reality, it's a battle for me at times to find a reason to smile when things are so gloomy ...

With that, I think I am gonna go find Ted E and curl up in my bed and pray that I dream sweet dreams tonight .. and I hope that you all do too ...

What does your birth month reveal about you?

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

March
Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented.Loves special things. Moody.

Ok, so I got this quiz off Chuckie's blog (he always has the coolest quizzes that I always have to take and post on my blog) The results are kinda really close to who I am - well, I don't really think I am revengeful (except where doorbell-ringing neighbors are concerned) but, it's also dead-on to a few other's personalities that I know so, I guess it's not a bad thing.

Let's see, other than telling you I had a busy but good day at work today and that I was able to work on my friend's pc (who took me to dinner for doing so, THANK YOU WILLIAM) I don't have anything else to say so I'll close for now and go to bed ...

If you read this, take the quiz yourself and let me know your results.

Sweet Dreams ...

Inside Deja Groove - Me, Shelly, ?, Jamie, and Henry (in the striped shirt) - Henry is my bigbro friend and made sure that I had a great time - just like he did when we were roomies. Awww, he's still my bestest guy friend and always will be.

It's Friday, I'm Alone & I'm BORED!!

Ok, so this is one of the rare weekends that I don't have the boys and I'm sitting alone on a Friday night bored! Ordinarily I might venture out solo but with the rapist still at large, I'm too chicken to do that. Hell, I didn't even go to Wal-Mart to get ammo that I was supposed to for tomorrow alone because they think he might be stalking women from there!

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

I'm supposed to get ammo because Tid is taking me to the shooting range in the morning to practice hitting targets but he said he already had some so hopefully, he'll just let me pay him for them even though he said he'd get it later (He's already being nice enough to teach me NRA Pistol Safety so I don't want to feel like I am taking advantage of him because he's supplying everything too)

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Wanna know something else that is strange?? (Ok, well, I'm gonna tell you anyway - KMA) I don't even feel like drinking tonight. Yes, I have beer here ... no kids ... no work in the morning (though Tid wants to hit the range early) and I don't feel like drinking. Wonder what's up with that one??? LOL!

I just realized that I hadn't blogged this week at all since Sunday. Let's see, what have I been doing?

Sunday night - I watched a movie with Andrew (it was pretty cool) and ate cold fried chicken & cupcakes that I made preparing for the hurricane that never showed itself much besides some rain and wind.

Monday night - I got DRUNK! (finished off the cold chicken) aggravated neighbor because I CAN! :D (Ain't gonna tell ya how I did it either)

Tuesday night - Went over to fix my friend Super Dave's pc so that he could get online. (Took a while but yes, I was able to get it to work)

Wednesday night - I got DRUNKER than I did on Monday night. Ended up eating a whole bag of beef jerky along with the 12-pack of Bud Light I polished off ... (had a bad day, don't wanna get into it)

Thursday night - Went to watch my son play football. He plays offense & defense (Right End/Tight End) and looks totally adorable in his lil pads and uniform.

That brings us back to tonight - FRIDAY - ALONE, BORED, SCARED TO VENTURE OUT ALONE. Did I mention I'm bored?!?!? WELL, I AM!!!!!!

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to shooting range.

Tomorrow night, I have an offer to go out with a few friends, there's also something happening in Atlanta .. not sure what, if anything, I'll do because 1 - still worried about rapist ..... 2 - much as I hate to admit it, don't like doing a lot alone .. I swear, being single sucks the mostest!!!!

Ok, I think I have significantly bored the shit out of anyone that reads this .... with that, I am going to go sort through pictures for my scrapbook and maybe go to bed before 11 ...

WOO HOO ~ quite the partier, aren't I???

: : : : : Eat Shit & Die Look on Face : : : : : See ya'll later ...

CJ's 1st Baseball Scrimmage. Here, he's waiting to bat. This is his first year playing baseball (he's played football-defense, the last 2 yrs). I don't care if he wins or hits home runs all the time, as long as he has fun playing the game. In the end, isn't that what really matters?
I tried re-posting this adding the heading to it, but for some reason, my blog is being a pain in my ass .. so, this pic shoulda been listed before Devon's football pics, but oh well .. it's here now :P

Devon's 1st Football Game

"Taking a Knee" when he switched from playing offense & defense to just playing defense.

Devon's 1st Football Game

Isn't he adorable?